sis brought her boyfriend home to study the whole day today. its like, they are so obviously together, and my mommy still continues to deny so vehemently that they are just GOOD FRIENDS. parents are like from another planet some times.

anyway, my maid asked me with much cheekiness if i was jealous. haha. the honest answer is no, but i am envious :( i miss the feeling of being in a relationship, but ironically, i couldnt exactly remember how does it feel like. lol.

Let's start over.
I'll try to do it right this time around.
It's not over.
’Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killing me,
But you're the only one.
It's not over.

i lied to my mom yesterday that i was going to school for extra econs lessons and would be studying after that. the truth is, i went for soccer training. i felt so damn guilty but that was the only way! she keeps scolding me for coming home so late after every soccer training, and consistenly bugs me with the question of why and when my training have not cease yet. i'm sure she would blow her top if i told her i went for training. whats more, training yesterday started at 230pm and ended like around 7. sometimes, white lies are inevitable. though of course, it does not exacly means its the right thing to do. but still.

and i think coach was shooting me indirectly during training yesterday when he scolded us all. yeahh, he should be because before that, he told me that i should perform as well during trainings as i do during matches, if not, there would not be any use. furthermore, as the captain of the team, i should set the standard, if not, the team would not follow. excuses not accepted. i got to really push myself.

"Don't feel entitled to anything you didn't sweat and struggle for." --Marian Wright
Edelman

right now, i feel like tearing. fall out with a good friend over inter-cca issues, but we made up tonight. last week, i was hurt and very angry over the whole thing as i could not see why cca might be more important than our friendship. but we cleared it up tonight, and i'm glad we did. things like this can be really frightening.

econs lecture test tml, topic on inflation. inflation is so everywhere. price inflation on rice, on electricity yadah yadah. hopefully, my econs marks will also inflate. haha. studied for it and i must do well. thus, to reward myself for being able to sit down and study (which is a rare case), i shall indulge myself in the liverpool vs everton match later at 1055! i had already got over the defeat against man u. shall prepare myself to celebrate liverpool's victory later! :)

hello girlfriend,

please grow up. committing mistakes are man's nature, and to do so, is an acceptable and hopefully, a forgivable thing. just confess that you've done wrong and apologise for it! why do you run away from what you've done and go into cowardice hiding? you are so thick even, to deny that you are not in the wrong, and have been wrongly accused.

what makes your attitude even more "worthy" to be condemned is your frustratingly disgusting habit of finger pointing. it is apparently so that you are at fault, yet you pushed the blame to others, weaving excuses for yourself. fine, blame us for not telling you that you are blunt during times when you were, but only did so during the thrashing out session. fine, blame the teacher for calling you up last minute to help out for the event. last minute or not, you gave your word. its not the matter of not daring to say no, but the core subject is that you said you would go!

running away by not replying her messages or calls is only temporary. you would have to face the music soonner or later, so why ask us all to lie and cover up for you? your level of immaturity is manifested even more so when you try to get us all thinking along with you, that you're the victim and the teacher is the predator of some sort. if you really did not do anything wrong, then why is it that you're so afraid to face her!

and its not about sacking you of your post, its about the responsibility you hold as a leader in our cca and the pride you should be carrying as a vice. when you said "sack then sack lor!", it greatly disappoints me. i wish you would take things more seriously and try gaining the respect of your teammates. your mindset and attitude is really wrong, and disgusting too. you're 18 this year and carry on this "i heck care and i'm always right" attitude, it will not get you far in the future.

we are not going to get entangled together with you in your web of lies. and i will not render you support of any kind until you face your mistakes, apologise sincerely and change from it.

really, grow up princess.
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thanks yiting! for the ice cream treat today :) you're really sweet!

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sunday's church service was a revelation for me. it made me see once more the importance and impact of servanthood. it is indeed so true that
"one can serve without loving, but cant love without serving. if you love someone, you've got to serve him or her."
and because you love him, serving him will be something you would do willingly and joyfully.

i used to laugh and mock at my school's councillors for doing "sai gang" for the school. but only during last service did i realise that its because of the love for the school and the desire to see the school grow to become a more conducive and better place, that these councillors put in so much hard work in serving the needs of this school. whether they do it just for show or really out of love, i cannot judge. but i know that the school would not be able to function properly without them. gosh, i'm sorry that i used to criticised them!

anway, i pray to be a humble enough person, to be willing to serve those around me whom i love, and especially more so, serve God. serving one does not of course neccessarily mean washing somebody's feet or what, but it also mean helping the person and being there physically for him on your own will, and at all times, despite any differences in status etc you both might have. most importantly, one should not be egoistic and be filled with pride of that sort, for this form of pride breaks a man, but humility builds him up and makes him worthy of respect.



chris's birthday was a hell lot of fun yesterday! singing of a modified birthday song so loudly in the canteen, cake smashing and opening of presents! hope you like your gigantic chuppa chupp. lick it to sleep sweetheart! happy 18th!

history and econs tests tml! all the best turtle :)