i have been blogging actaully. the only thing is, i didnt posts my entries. because i've got rather little spare time on my hand right now, most of my entries are like half way complete. and so, they are all saved as drafts. today however, i'm determined to ressurect my dead blog! :D

ohhk. now i really know what stress is. as in STRESS. that kind of panicky, i'm-so-tired-but-cannot-sleep i've-got-no-more-time kind of STRESS. on the first day of school last week, i was already feeling the strain. well, blame it on my relaxing attitude that i possessed, in passing the 4 damn weeks of school holidays. but i was down to studying immediately when school reopened! because like what daryl and weizi said, even though i started off late, its still not too late yet.

and the stress i felt initially, was rather a motivation and discipline for me to study, but i'm rather burnt out by week 2! i guess its really much like exercising, running and doing sports. my body is not yet condition to hours of mugging, therefore leading to fatigue easily. however i believe, like stamina, it can be built up! all i have to do is perserve on, and i'll feel better in another week or 2! haha. i've never been so positive about studying before. but during dark times, its always good to look on the bright side! :D

so, the singapore government is encouraging us all to save on our energy usage! HEAR HEAR! my parents have been lamenting on the ever increasing PUB bills and all ever since once upon a time. anyway, thats not the point. the thing is, my school's taking a stringent stand in energy saving too, and from 8am to 9am every day, the air conditioner are all to be switched off! when first implemented, students and teachers alike are supposed to take the initiative to NOT TURN ON THE AIR CON. but like all pampered children this day, of course we feigned ignorance and on the air con anyway. so now, the school decided to control the main switch and yeahh, we cant turn the air cons on from 8 to 9 on our own freewill.

funnily enough, 1 hour without air con seems to kill all the students. we complain about the incredulously hot and humid weather, and how we cannot pay attention in class. even though, there's a fan right there. the fan would definitely not work as well as the air con, but thank God, there's a least a source to lessen the irritations.

i guess thats really human nature. we, for one, dont seem to be able to appreciate and think that for the rest of the hours in school, the HIGH ENERGY CONSUMING AIR CONS will be turned on for us. also, we're so pampered that we have to moan and groan just because of one short hour of "suffering". if you call that, erms, suffering. and then we start blaming the school saying, school so kiam siap, 1 hour of air con money also want to save. hmms, maybe we're really so ignorant to realise how expensive air conditioning is, plus the rising electricity bills. but of course! we're not the ones forking out the money, its the government! but hello! the government revenue are from our parents' income taxes! the botom line is, i really think that singaporeans only know how to complain, despite the flood of blessings they pretend not to notice all around them. they demand for the immediate benefits, and refused to see the bigger picture. our comfort zone unfortunately, is only the size of a matchbox.

whenever the soccerettes meet each other, we'll always hug and kiss and talk to each other at the top of our lungs. my friends commented that our behaviour are the likes of long lost friends. hahaha. well, the thing is, i'm really happy seeing them everyday. i look forward to hanging out with the girls, and dread to say goodbye. its really a sense of belonging and longing haha. i feel the same way for other friends too, like my classmates, old friends, but maybe because i'm not used to expressing my affection in such a flamboyant way to them, i didnt really do so.

but i strongly feel people should express their love for each other through hugs and kisses, at least on the cheeks haha. i really love BEAR HUGS! a hug, an embracing one, really show the love, care and concern people have for each other. whenever i hug someone and say take care, it really gives me a peace of mind, knowing that somehow, she will be alright and happy :) but of course, its rare to see friends of different genders hugging each other as a form of greeting, gratefulness or appreciation. i'm quite shy myself to do so. well, its probably due to our culture, which of course, is nothing wrong. but for the start, girlfriends! hug one another and spread the love! haha.

after school on friday, i ran all the way to the guard house to wait for jingwen to go home together because jasmine wants to chi wo tofu! haha. so i was standing at the entrance of the school gate alone, and i saw noi and his girlfriend walking out from the school canteen. obviously, they're going home, and they would have to walk pass me. i was like, "shit, fuck, where's jingwen!" and so, i quickly walked behind the guardhouse and pretend to look at the theresa and huiying who were running on the track. but in fact, i was hiding like a chicken. i so fucking hate myself for having no guts to face both of them. thank God jingwen came running behind them, so i came out from my hiding place, walked passed them, smiled to noi, and got to jingwen. it was a damn awkward moment! lucky jingwen came just at the right time. i know its really mean of me to think this way, but i wished instead of smiling at him when i walked passed, i should have just shoot out my middle finger. my unpredictable, unreasonable female hormones get all worked up everytime i see any noi-related or noi thingys. but i'm fine after awhile! just that at the bus stop, jasmine and chris openly molested and groped me!

really random thought, but i really like to say "jas & chris". its like so shun kou. like you're saying a brand name, example "hula & co." and "charles & keith" hahaha.

and i really like to thank all my friends whom i shared my father's problem with. thanks for the concern and those encouraging msgs. i feel really blessed. i'm really thankful and relief that my dad is fine, that the results proved negative for stroke. but its not exactly nice news either, to know that he's under tremendous amount of stress and pressure. my dad's health has constantly been weighing on my mind, and his decision to work overseas after he retired from the army does not appeal to me at all.

i didnt used to love my daddy alot because when i was young, my parents used to quarrel alot and also, he always used the rod on me because of my inability to comprehend maths. prob explain my lack of interest towards this very complicating subject haha. however, as i grow older, i realised my dad does love my family alot, and he shows it through meeting our every need and wants. its like, he's really willing to spend money at whatever we want, and not on himself. he also encouraged me to play soccer and he always say to me, "you're a big girl now, sensible already. must know how to make the right choices and discpline your ownself."

after the scare of signs of strokes, i am more against my dad to go overseas to work. and suddenly, it came as a motivation for me to study well, and do well for my A levels so that i can get into the uni and course i want. now that i dont have the ability to support my family yet, i guess i can lessened my daddy's worry through my being self motivation and achieving something which both mom and him can be proud of. i hope in the future, my sis and i can land ourselves in a prospective job and then, my daddy and mommy can enjoy life already! :)

i want to thank God for my ahma, daddy, mommy and sister :D


and YES SPAIN RULES!

Campeones! El cielos es el limite :) even though the jersey is too big for me, i'll still clad it on!

TESTIMONIAL MATCH TODAY! weeets :D and we've officially passed down. i will blog more about it another time!

ohh. and i must say, i really take my hat off xiaxue. she's really one of a kind man. respect her attitude, even though i dont necessarily agree with all her views and opinions. xiaxue reminds me of my very vocal and i'm-not-scared-to-voice-out-my-opinions friends like daryl, jill, junkai, jasmine, weizi and yingying. and i love engaging myself in conversations with them, especially junkai. hahaha :D

random photos!



















jingwen and i were resting at imm, then we played with this ohh-so charming 4 years old boy! and he took photos of us with my handphone cam! i swear i would date him if i could. he actually asked me to find him at imm the next day! haha.




stella's so CUTE lilo and stitch stuff toy