had a rather strange and creepy dream yesterday. here goes: i was in school, with these two friends of mine. on that day, they told me that they were able to see spirits and ghosts. and guess what they told me? they said that there was this female ghost which had been following behind me constantly all this while. but the thing is, this female ghost has the face of me =/ in other words, she looks exactly like me. in other OTHER words, she is me. and they said that there is another ghost hovering on top of me wherever i go too. when i woke up, i was like wth what is this kind of dream? it left me dreading the day ahead for no apparent reason.

and when i went to work, i suddenly felt like crying because for a moment, i was kind of subconsciously pulled back in time. i recounted my first day of primary school very vividly, as though i was experiencing it all over again. the first time when i boarded the school bus reluctantly, and through the window, i saw my smiling mother waving at me as the bus drove off. that caused me to cry very badly in the bus because at that point of time i felt so lost, so alone and so afraid. its like u've falllen into a vast ocean, with nothing to support you nor no shore to swim to. the only destination is to sink to the seafloor below. this feeling left me quite disturbed for sometime.

told yishu about my dream and he intepreted it for me. according to him, my dream was telling me that my biggest enemy is myself (thus explaining the ghost which looks like me). and the hovering ghost above my head is my part on not being able to let go of HIM. upon thinking, i really feel that it makes a great lot of sense. sighs. but i'm really on the path of recovery already.

anyway on a lighter note, i wore the cross necklace to work today :)