theresa;industrious

The mainstream life;

2010-03-02T00:00:00.000-08:00

I live my life on the mainstream. For example, I've just completed a 1,500 word essay at 3:22am and I've overshot the word limit by a few hundred words, and I'm too lazy to cut it down. I live my life almost like every mugger students in Singapore, all mugging hard for a degree because this society requires one, and because our parents say so.

I dont smoke, I dont do drugs, I dont gamble, I dont have casual sex, I dont dO lesbians, I dont dye my hair red and blue and pink, I dont wear boots and leopard print skirt, I dont cut weird bangs or shave my head, I dont wear big black round vintage spectacles, I dont put dark and thick eyeliners around my eyes, I dont party and party and party, I dont have a tattoo on my neck, I dont have piercings on my brows and lips, I dont carry a helmet or ride a motorbike, I dont carry a dslr around my neck and take artistic photos of this and that, I dont camp at the Esplanade underpass with stunt bikes or with a group of hip hop dancers, I dont do graffiti art, I dont study in Laselle or Nafa or Sota, I dont and cant declare loudly like how people who do what I dont can, "F the mainstream!"

Sorry for the use of the F word, I just needed it to put my thoughts across. Sometimes, I just find the life I'm leading a bit too ordinary. When I see young people who do not walk the mainstream life, somehow, I'm filled with awe and respect of them. The live a life doing what they want to do, and not what society expects of them. The bold statements they make with their attitude, appearance, way of thinking and lifestyle makes me hold my breath. They are creative, zest filled people, with a spirit of rebellion in them.

Okay, I may be generalising here, but thats what I always think of young people who dare to defy the mainstream and society norms. I cant judge if what they do is wrong or right, but you must give them the credit for not conforming to what society expects.

I, for one, am not cut out to walk, what I would call, the Other stream road. For example, I am always intrigued and have a special interest for body art and modification. If I could, my body would have been tattooed and pierced in many places already. Haha. But I know if I do so, I wouldnt have a roof over my head this very moment. And I dont have the guts to do it anyway. I will think about my future, about the consequences of having my body modified, until its too old for me to put it into action. Same goes if I want to give myself a haircut or a dye. I feel people who walk the Other stream dont think too much. They like it, they have it done. Regrets? Save it for later. Life's short anyway. Haha.

As much as I would like to F the mainstream, I'm not born in an environment for one. Neither do I have many friends who walk the Other stream. I guess life in the mainstream is always safer and clearer. But if I could choose to be in the Other stream, I want to be gifted with the ability to draw. And with that gift, I will be a quirky artist who will travel the world and draw the faces of different people I see :D

But whether mainstream or not, I've come to the conclusion that we all should just live a happy and fulfilling life in our own definition, and also a life where we do our best to help people around us.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISTINA LOVE!

Love,
Theresa 3rd March "10 4:01am

Procrastination, running circles in my head,;

2010-02-23T00:00:00.000-08:00

This week's gonna be a busy week for me to catch up with all my assignments and projects which are not done during my Chinese new year recess week! Got to rush to meet all the deadlines!

I think procrastination is all students' middle name! I procrastinate like nobody's business, and then get all panicky when I realised there's actually not enough time to complete my readings and assignments!

Its an annoying bad habit, and its so hard to get rid of it. The play first and work later mentality is not healthy for me! It makes me grumpy and impatient! Haha. Time to be diligent Theresa!

The other day, instead of studying, I went to download a few movies to watch. One of them was Law abiding citizen, starring Gerard Butler and Jamie Fox. Everybody was telling me how nice the movie was and all, but I was not very thrown away by it.

It just doesnt makes sense to me. That Gerard butler actually killed so many innocent people, and justifies it by saying that he does it so that the justice system can change. I mean, I understand where he's coming from, his vengeance and all, but the people he killed are also somebody else's family, and he's like no difference from the man who murdered and raped his wife and daughter.

The justice system is ever flawed. There's no such thing as true justice in this world, simply because man ourselves are flawed and imperfect. So, there will never be a perfect institution on earth as long as man is running it.

And I think justice is also subjective to different people. Like Gerard Butler, justice to him is not making any deal with the murderers, and even if Jamie Fox lost the case and let the two murderers walked free, its okay, because he didnt make a deal with the murderer. But for Jamie Fox, to him, justice is to try at least to put both prisoners behind the bars, even if it means making a deal with one of them. At least, they dont walk totally free.

Haha. It seems that I'm not very impressed with the movie. And its abit impossible for Gerard butler to burrow a tunnel into a high security prison right? Its even more grand than prison break lar! Haha.

But I also downloaded The blind side, and to me, it was an awesome movie! Nothing action drama, but its a movie that warms your soul and touches your heart. And whats more, its based on a true story.

I think racial discrimination and marginalisation is a rarely seen thing here in Singapore. But in countries such as America and the UK, I guess it is a very common thing. Ghettos, high crime rates mostly committed by the marginalised race, racial bashing etc.

It always breaks my heart to know that people judge each other by their skin colour. I know prejudices are inevitable, because of the environment that we are brought up in. But to discriminate is really a choice. We can all choose not to blatantly express our dislikes and hatred.

But well, I guess people are not very peaceable creatures. Thats why we still have wars and terrorism and conflicts.

But watching the blind side really encourages me, and show me that there are people out there who do not judge and who are willing to help and love those whom others condemned. Thats what we need in this dying, fallen world- more love!

Xingni, samuel and wayne are going off to phuket on Thursday, for a holiday getaway! I am so envious okay! I can see them running on the sandy beach, and snorkeling with the fishes in the clear, blue water. I WANT TO GO. I've never been there before, and I bet its great. I enjoy beach getaways. My last time was at Hilton beach resort with my mom, aunt and uncle at Sanya in Hainan Island. It was awesome okay! We had a sumptuous dinner on the sandy beach, under the stars, with a live band and campfire! I WANT TO GO PHUKET! *WHINES*

Oopsy daisy! Its late, I better turn in already! I must break my vicious cycle of sleeping late and waking up late. Need to fixed back my body clock yo!

STUDY HARD TURTLE! Uni fees dont come cheap!

Love,
Theresa 23rd Feb '10 11:26am

Live with the evil but dont let it rule your life;

2010-02-16T00:00:00.000-08:00

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

The knot in my heart was loosened substantially today. Thank you God for putting people in my life whom I can trust, who can understand and empathise.

Imperfection is beauty.

--------------------------------------------

I used to be fine with PDA (Public Display of Affection). In fact, I think there's nothing wrong with it. Why? Because its good to know that couples are still so in love with each other that they just cant stop expressing their love for the other party, be it by hugging and/or kissing. Of course, there's a limit lar. Too much, I'll be like "Hello, get a room?".

But recently, I realised PDA is really inconvenient for the innocent passers by or bystanders. Okay, if say, a couple is PDA-ing on a park bench, and people walked passed, well fine. I mean, those passers by just come and go fast.

BUT if a couple is PDA-ing on the mrt train or in a queue (or in any situation with many bystanders who are around them for a period of time), then well, they are really doing it at the expense of the bystanders' comfort. Dad sold his car, so we were in a taxi queue, and there was a couple who was one person in front of us, who was so busily PDA-ing! The poor lady queuing in front of us was so awkward and uncomfortable! Whats more, the proximity between the couple and the lady was like only a foot away. And you can like hear the smooching sound.

So, I feel, unless you're a selfish and inconsiderate person, then you shouldnt PDA in the following places:

1) MRT trains

2) Queues (Whatever kind of queues)

3) Bus stops

4) Buses

5) Escalators

6) Traffic lights

7) Restaurants (especially if you're sitting next to a table full of kids)

8) Elevators

9) Taxis (poor taxi uncle!)

10) Living room of your home (If your family is around)

Hahaha. Of course, if the above mentioned places are empty or are people-scarce, then PDA all you want! But please be kind enough not to do so when there are innocent bystanders around! And oh, you may get your PDA sessions on film too, if you're pissing off those people. Either find your passionate glued together faces up in Stomp or else on youtube or your friend's facebook! :D

----------------------------------------------------

Sometimes I dont get some people. They come to you for advice and help and you give them the advice they need, but they dont listen and instead, do what their unbalance state of mind tells them to do. And then after awhile, they come back to you again (upon realising their mistakes), and ask for advise and help to their problems again, BUT THEY DONT LISTEN AGAIN. So its like a vicious cycle lor. Waste everybody's time only!

And as the listener, oh how you sometimes feel like taking them by their collar, and scream right into their face. And not pick up their calls or entertain them anymore. But you know you cant, cause you're their friend.

Come on! Dont ask anymore if you dont want to heed. What is the point man! We're only going in circles!

So, be sincere when you ask for help, and be sure that you will heed the advices as much as you can!

---------------------------------------------

I feel free tonight.

Love,
Theresa 17th jan '10 12.54am

My Chinese New Year;

2010-02-15T00:00:00.000-08:00

Mig asked me how was my Chinese new year this year. I told him it was rather special for me. And different too. I would like to share my new year experience. But I dont know where to start! Okay, let me try.

Side note: Its going to be a long post!

My dad's side of the family is very big, with nine children, four girls, five guys, with my daddy being the youngest and also my ahma's favourite. So ever since dad got married, ahma had been living with him. So as soon as I was born, I was already living with my ahma and ahgong. Gong gong passed away when I was four, and so I dont really have much memories of him.

But my ahma and I are very close, and I love her alot. As some may know, before this cny, my ahma was hospitalised for about a month. She came home on the Thursday before the new year, the same day my dad returned from Doha. But then, her condition is kind of deteriorating. Earlier on already, she had been showing signs of dementia. After the long hospital stay which caused her to be so dependent on the nurse and diapers, her condition got worse.

Since ahma lives with us, all my relatives will come over to eat and bai nian on the first day. Like, really huge crowd cause there are aunties, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews. This cny, ahma didnt give away angbaos, and she was very blur and quiet. My ahma used to talk alot in the past, very talkative, and they always say she got a bad mouth! Haha. This year, there she is sitting on a wheelchair, looking distant and in her own world.

Everybody came to bai nian to her, and some people, she actually cant remember. And she talks so softly, like there's no strength in her anymore. And I look at my cousins, whom many are married already. And there's like a baby boom in my family. Lots of babies and toddlers from all my fertile cousins! Haha. And I look at my aunties and uncles, at how some of them have grown older, or have some illness like heart problem.

And then it struck me, that what I'm looking at is really the cycle of life. The new babies, my cousins and nieces and nephews around my age, the older cousins, and all my aging aunties and uncles and grandma. They all said, ahma is the old baby now. Haha. Well, the old dont get old, the new cant come. I've realised how short life really is now.

Looking at my ahma, I've been thinking how many more cny can I spend with her. My ahma is like the link of all the relatives. Like we get together (like really everybody) twice every year for cny and to celebrate her birthday. If she's no longer around, I really wonder if we will still have such a bond.

This cny, all of us are worried for ahma. We talked about her, asking the big question "How are we going to manage ahma now that she has dementia?" Cause she's behaving like a small kid already. They wanted to put her into a nursing home, cause my dad wont be in Singapore, and its just so difficult to take care of a dementia patient. It kind of spoilt my day, because I just cannot accept the thought of putting her in a nursing home. In fact, mom dad and I quarreled about it later on, but thats another thing.

This cny, my mom showed everybody my birthday video in 1991, with everbody's younger face inside. You know, those kuku haircuts and big, round specs. And everybody laughed at the way they look last time. The family had indeed grown bigger, but more distant at the same time. I remember those days when I really played with my cousins, nieces and nephews so often. The past few years, we grow up, some got married, and you know, they dont often come to visit anymore and so, we got distant.

But I still like most of my relatives alot. I'm very happy when they come over. But I can really feel things are gonna change in the Seah family these few years, so this cny, I really tried to mingled with everybody. Added as many as I can on facebook too! Haha. Practically spent the whole day with most of time, way into midnight. Because I really dont know about next year anymore.

After my place, we all went to my super cool, androgynous cousin's rented terrace over at west coast. She called her house "the vice house" where everybody can do anything. Smoke, drink, gamble and whatever. Lots of my cousins are like that. Super cool, know how to enjoy life kind of people.

They have tattoos, smoke, drink, club, play good mahjong, have very complicated lifestyle, very generous, very hospitable, very filial, very friendly. Its like, even though they may indulge in all such vices, they are awesome people lor. I look at them and I see the kind of life that I might had have led. They knew I got a tattoo, and they were like "Good. When you're young, do everything you can! Go club and all, then when you old already, you wont feel like doing them anymore!" Haha. Hello? That was my motto in life. WAS lar. Haha. No matter how much I may want to live such a life, I know it would break my parents' heart and I know I would displease God.

I think, even at the prospect of turning 20 (omg), I'm still really finding out who am I, who I'm going to be, what I'm going to do. And I'm thankful this time I'm doing it with God's grace and guidance.

It was a bittersweet experience for me on the first day of chinese new year. My dad's back for awhile, and there was certainly reconciliation and bonding of my relationships with my relatives. My cousin asked me to hang out with her daughter and my other relatives more often. Like call, and arrange to go out. And yeah, I think thats what I should do. Open doors! But I sure hope it isnt temporal! But my ahma, she breaks my heart. Our heart. But I got to keep praying for her. And my dad, gonna miss him so so much again when he flies back on Thursday morning!

On my second day of new year however, it was awesome. Visited my mom's side which is much smaller in size. Haha. We all really really caught up with each other. All of us cousins chatted for a couple of hours and yeah, I was really happy! The perks of a small family. And I feel really good about today's reunion.

My mom's side of the family is really different from my dad's. They are more toned down, not the loud, gambling, high type like my dad's. I enjoy both kinds of company though!

But dont you feel that everything seems better and happier and more perfect when we were all younger? Somehow, Chinese new year do seem abit more fun. And everybody seems abit more closer.

I really hope that I can build more lasting relationships with my cousins, nieces and nephews. Since I can have close friends, then why cant I have my blooded relatives as my buddies right!

I hope everybody had an interesting cny too! Because soon, we'll be thrown back into the harsh reality of life, where work and assignments pile up before our very eyes!

Love,
Theresa 16th feb '10 1:50am

He's more than enough for me;

2010-02-09T00:00:00.000-08:00

I was having my quiet time just now, worshipping God and praying to Him.

And He asked me, "Am I not more than enough for you?"

It was a question, but also an answer.

There's so many times in my life, when I feel so inadequate, so lousy about myself. And I find myself becoming more of a man pleaser, rather than a God pleaser. But its funny how things work. The more you try to please man, the more you chase after the material stuff of the world, the more empty you will feel. You can never truly be happy or satisfied.

I'm guilty as charged. And I know that I'm only going to sidetrack if I'm still having this attitude. I know, that God loves me so much, and it pains my heart, because I'm still doing unpleasing things in God's eyes, and the thing is, I know that I'm wrong. Its like a conscious mistake. For example, you know stealing is wrong, but you still steal, because it makes you feel better at that moment (the excitment and all), but after that, you beat yourself up for stealing again, because you know its wrong, and you're not doing anything about it! And before you know it, you're stealing AGAIN.

Chasing after the superficial things of life can get painful and tiring. And when God asked me this so very simple question, I know my attitude and mindset got to change. He is more than enough for me. So much more. I was also reading 1 Samuel, and the prophet Samuel told Saul that to obey is better than to sacrifice.

I may be sacrificing my time for church, cell group and all church activities, but God looks at my heart. Did I obey Him? Did I obey His commandments, and what He calls me to do? Did I please God to make Him happy? I guess, when you obey God, then the sacrifices you made for Him will be more precious, more valuable.

As I was praying, I told God how thankful I am because He is also a God that forgives, that sent Jesus to die on the cross for us 2000 years ago, so that our sins will be forgiven and the power of Sin will be broken.

And I was telling God how much I want to forget about my Egypt. I know the extent of God's mercy and grace, but there are certain things in your past that you just cant seem to let go. I want to shake off my past mistakes, to bury them, and forget about them, and I know that God has already forgiven me of them. But I cannot forgive myself for committing them.

The memories haunt me. Each time I want to do things for God, be it serving in a ministry or whatever, those memories seem to pull me back. I close my eyes, I think of them, and I feel so disgusted with myself. "Am I worthy?" I would ask time and time again.

I know how people learn from mistakes. How people say that they have no regrets in their lives, because whatever mistakes they made, they learnt from them and made them who they are today. Frankly speaking, if it werent for the mistakes in the past, I might not have rededicated my life back to God. But given a chance, I would really want to undo them. Yes, I've learnt from my mistakes, but living with them is like relieving your nightmare over and over again.

I have been praying about this, and I told God again just now, that I really need to tell someone about it. I told God to show me this person whom I can share with. If not, I dont know how am I going to let go of it and forgive myself. I dont want to live with skeletons in the cupboard.

But I know and I know, that His loves suffices. That one day soon, this nightmare which haunts me every now and then will be over. Because my God is my Banner, my victory! Amen!

He reminded me of a bible verse:

"(Jesus)These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."
- John 16:33

I will, with God's grace, overcome my past mistakes. I will run this race with Him, and finish it.

Love,
Theresa 10th feb '10 12:36am

Thats why guys, never treat your girls bad;

2010-02-07T00:00:00.001-08:00

Catherine zeta-jones is god.

I remembered there was one time last year, I started youtubing all disney songs. Now, I'm youtubing all movie musical songs. Haha. Thanks to Maria's concert!

Chelsea is now two nil up.

Love,
Theresas 8th feb '10 12:55am

She danced and sang like Glee;

2010-02-07T00:00:00.000-08:00

Attended my dear friend, Maria's musical concert yesterday, together with Marcus. It was a nyp production, and it was spectacular!

When she danced and sang to Summer Night from Grease, I teared! She looked so happy performing! My dear Maria, you really belong on the stage!

The whole concert yesterday reminded me of Glee!

AWESOMENESS

Wanna upload the photos but got problem doing so, so I shall do that another time!

Summer Nights is my favourite song from Grease, and Grease is epic! Love their old school dress sense, especially the guys! Charming or charming?

Another performance piece that I cheered to was All That Jazz from Chicago. Sexiness! The movie was dark in a sense, but their songs were awesome. And it was also my favourite song so obviously I love that piece. Too bad no songs from Moulin Rouge! That one I hear already confirm will cry!

Abit nc16 at the end, so if you're sensitive towards this kind of stuff, dont bother watching.

I'm not a very arty person who catches broadway musicals and theatre performances and all that. But I do love musicals. Its one form of art (I guess?) that I know how to appreciate, enjoy and not start squirming around on my seat. So, in the rare occasion when I manage to catch one (usually those movie musical like Sweeney Todd and all), their songs will always get stuck in my mind!

---------------------------

My right groin and right knee is hurting very badly right now. The pain just keeps throbbing on and on and on. I dont know how. I dont remember straining myself so much during training. I must pray for healing! And have faith!

So, wont be blogging a long post tonight. Cause got important match to catch now! Chelsea vs Arsenal. I'm not supporting Chelsea (duh), I want them to LOSE, but I dont want arse to win either BUT I dont want them to draw too. So how man! Haha.

As I'm typing this, Chelsea is one nil up. Haha.

Love,
Theresa 8th feb '10 12:21am

I dont like shows where the protagonist dies;

2010-02-04T00:00:00.000-08:00

Nor books.

Actually, I dont like it when authors or directors kill the main characters. So saaaddddddddddddddd. Sometimes, I get sad when the bad people die too. But most of the time, I'll be cheering lar. Especially if the villain is a bitch!

I dont like it when the bad man in the show is actually a woman, who will always give this stuck up look with the evil eyes and that sickening smirk and think they're very hot and sexy. When they get killed by the good guys, I'll be like, "In your face BITCH!" Haha. I know its a bit vulgar lar. But still They so deserve it!

And of course I love it when the woman is the hero of the show, like angelina jolie in tomb raider kind of thing. Or like eowyn in lotr. Or like zhao wei in red cliff. Woman power yo! Smart, intelligent, brave women! We need more such movies! Haha.

I love being a female/girl/woman/lady/young woman/young lady whatever. While man are always seen as the dominant leader, somewhere deep down, I've always felt that the woman is the stronger sex.

But then again, thats hard to say. Better not generalise! There are every kind of men and women. But one kind I cant tolerate is women who scold their husband and coerce their husband to submit to them like some dog. Especially women who are terrible daughter-in-laws or mother-in-laws. UGLY!

Hmm, writing until here, well, I guess there must be a balance between men and women actually. Both sex should complement each other, and not try to overpower the other party. Haha but I believe it can be a challenge, simply because men tend to underestimate our abilities and we, as the new millennium women, would do whatever we can to prove to them that we are better.

Here's where feminist movements call for the equality of sex, and then the men go, "okay sure!" and stop holding the doors open for the ladies, and when we complain, they point out plainly that THAT is equality of sex. One even more absurd thing I've heard before is that, "Then women should be caned in jail too lor." Like what the??!!! Totally out of context. Himbo!

--------------------------------------------

Reunion dinner with the girls tomorrow! Finally we're all getting to meet up again. Its getting more and more and more difficult to organise a gathering nowadays, and so, our meet ups are less frequent too.

Its abit sad, really. But I guess thats life eh!

Footnote: I got to eat the egg tart from KFC for dinner! Well, I didnt spam it lar, cause I was too full from my zinger meal. But it is still YUMMY! Egg tarts ftw :D :D Hmm, but somehow, I still feel that the egg tart from the KFC in Beijing taste somewhat more delicious. But that was like two years ago so my memory might not be very accurate. Or maybe cause its winter and freezing cold, and the warm egg tart melts into your mouth, and the feeling is just so shiok, and thats why it seem to taste better?

Love,
Theresa 5th feb '10 1:30am

Convos on the bed;

2010-02-03T00:00:00.000-08:00

My mom and I have heart to heart convos before we turn in each night, now that I sleep with her since dad's overseas.

The other night, she was just telling me how much she miss those times when my sis and I were babies and little kids. She reminisced on the times when young theresa runs around with her hair tied up in a ponytail, and where my sis is always clinging onto her.

My mom said that I was always hyperactive, that as a child, I cant seem to sit still. Haha. Thats so true. Even I can remember those days. How I learn to climb a tree from my indian friends, how I would do the most dangerous stunts in the playground, like jumping off a swinging swing at its peak etc etc.

My mom was also going on about how she used to dress val an I up like pretty princesses in similar clothes and socks and shoes, and how she will tie our hair. She said we were so easy to control then, and we always cry out "Mommy mommy!" with our cute little voices.

And I was like, "Mom, I also miss those days, cause those were the days when you DONT NAG!" Hahahaha.

Well, I believe that most of us do feel melancholic at times. Its nice reminiscing the good, old past. It brought smiles to my mom and I.

I really wonder what went through my mom's head as she held my sis and I in her arms for the first time. Did images of our future flash through her mind? or she is so captivated by our mere existence that she couldnt even think for that moment?

Every parents want their children to grow up to do great things, and to earn a decent living and most importantly, be happy. I wonder, if you were to tell a mom that the son she's holding in her arms is going to become a murderer in the future, how would her reaction be like?

Its like how a baby so pure can ever grow up to be an evil person, to take drugs, to kill, to rob, to solicit etc. But at the same time, the same little creature in the mother's hand can also grow to become a world shaker, someone so succesful.

Like, if you were to ask taylor swift's mom when she was holding baby swift 20 years ago, I believe she wouldnt have imagine that at the age of 20, taylor swift have already won 3 Grammys(if I'm correct).

Hmm, actually I dont even know where I'm going from here. Its just that when mom and I were having the convo, I was like thinking, how little children can grow and change so much. Lots of things can happen in the span of one year, or even a few days, to change a growing adolescent mindset and percerption of life.

Oh man, I've so much to say but its so dfficult to express in words. Nevertheless, when I were to have children next time, I'm going to heed my mom's advice and treasure their growing up years.

Speaking of children, I really hope I can get married next time and have like 5 cute kids. I dont know, i'm a bit too young for my biological clock to be ticking, but nowadays, I do entertain the though of being a mother. Its freaky, I know. When i shared that with my mother, she told me off. Haha. I know how the thought of pregnancy scares some girls, but it intrigues me instead. There's something so sacred about it. No wonder Jegan is always saying, a woman is never complete until she experiences motherhood!

Well, to sum it all up, I really enjoy talking to my mom everynight. Like, I get a peek into her thoughts and her life. Its good to know that there are times like these, when your mom can be your girlfriend!

I think being a parent is really not easy, and as a daughter or son, we should also play a part in bridging whatever gap there is, and not always expect our parents to understand us. If we dont give our parents a chance, then we'll always think they are some weird people that we'll always try to shake away.

-----------------------------------------------------------

So, I've just completed my introductory sign language workshop! It has been an awesome experience! I really enjoy it thoroughly, and I have plans to go for the basic sign language course at the association. Got to first check out the details and all first! I really do enjoy signing! I hope to get my sis to participate with me!:D :D

And I'm seriously having the craves for the eggtarts from KFC! Gonna spam it for dinner tommorrow! MUHAHAHAHHA! Eggtarts are yummlicious! I like eggs! Especially the yellowish, high in cholestrol egg yolk!

Love,
Theresa 4th feb '10 1:00am

(un)Valentine's Day;

2010-01-31T03:20:00.000-08:00

Its sunday, the end of yet another week.

My week's been pretty intense, with tutorials, soccer training, double cellgroups and services. I'm tired, but I've never felt better! Pst Niko's service was very encouraging, and the praise and worship for both days were amazing. It touches my heart to see people praising God wholeheartedly, especially on Saturday; where so many young people like me were dancing for joy in the house of God and lifting their hands in earnest worship.

So, Samuel and I were talking on Saturday, and he reminded me that Valentine's day was like only 2 weeks away. And I went, oh yeah, it falls on the first day of Chinese new year! And in my heart, I was like "Sc*** Valentine's Day!"

I know how Valentine's Day is not exclusively reserved only for couples. Its a day of love, and we can spend it with our friends and family as well. But then, its usually couples who celebrate V'day isnt it? You see hearts, lovey dovey gifts around etc; love is in the air (sigh)!

My last V'day spent with a special someone was like 3 years ago. Wow, I've been single for 3 years already! And so, of course, I havent been celebrating it. Well, yeah, I did bake cookies for friends and all, but thats that. What I meant was, I havent celebrate it with someone special.

People say, being single is great, more freedom, I can do anything I want, I'm not tied down, why would I want to get attached, I mean, I can date all the people in town, I wont have to be heartbroken blah blah blah. You know what, THEY ARE LYING. LIARRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSS.

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return." When you've loved once, and been loved before, you will never choose singlehood. Or at least I will never. I really think people are saying all the great stuff about being single only to make themselves feel abit better. Because I say that sometimes too. And I know its a lie.

I'd rather want to spend my v'day with a guy who holds my hand, who gives me sunflowers and tells me how much he loves me, and makes me laugh by burping, and hugs me tight like I'm his life, and I want to spend my v'day with him, and I will hold his hand, and give him my heart and tell him how much he means to me, and make him laugh by acting cute, and hug him tight like he's my life.

I know I may sound so shallow, or maybe desperate or whatever. But I dont care. I know whats its like to be love, and I miss that feeling so much sometimes. When I see photos of my friends with their boyfriends or vice versa, when I see val and her bf spending time together, when I see mommy and daddy, I will think "When is it going to be my turn again? Never again?"

I know how people say you're still young lar, got so many more years to go. But whatever. I just want more years to spend with that special someone what!

To tell you the truth, I hate seeing couples holding hands, smiling into each other's eyes, talking so sweetly to each other and all that other mushy lovey dovey stuff. But it makes me so touch at the same time. Bittersweet. Argh.

Thats why I've dreaded and hated feb 14th for the past two years, and I'm sure this year will be no exception. 14th feb's just too overwhelming for me. I'm not a huge fan of it. I will feel depressed and suffocated, and somehow 24 hours later, I'll be normal again. Its like the full moon for the werewolves you know.

Sometimes I think there's really something wrong with me lar. Maybe I'm too boyish or too spoilt or too ugly or too fat or whatever thats why still single. Haha.

Hmm, so I'm rather glad this year, that at least v'day is not an isolated event itself. At least it falls on the first day of Chinese new year. Which makes things better I guess. Cause in the noise of "pong ah!" and in the busyness of collecting angbao, winning money, and eating like hungry ghosts, the effects of v'day will be drown out. And I'd have better things to do instead of thinking about all the lovey couples saying I love you to each other. Haha.

So dont ever believe anyone, anymore, if they say being single is great. Its bullshit. Who doesnt want to be love man? Who doesnt want to have a chance or another opportunity to think for days, of the best and most special present you can make or buy for the one you love?

Well, they say 2012 the earth ruptures (although thats bullshit too). So, I hope that at least in 2011, I'll get to a happy girl on vday. Haha. Like that, 2012 wont be so bad!

------------------------------------------

Footnote: This is not an emo post. Its just an expression of my feelings and thoughts towards love and vday and singlehood. Haha.

And I'm still going to catch the movie Valentine's Day, because there's Taylor Lautner, and many other hot stars like Jessica Alba and Taylor Swift and the list goes on!

Love,
theresa 30th jan '10 8:57pm

My stomach got a lot of gas;

2010-01-29T00:00:00.000-08:00

Today, I've realised that I cannot be a social worker!

Because I'm simply not strong enough to set aside my own values and accept a conflicting one, when I feel its wrong and should be change and I have no power to change it.

Social work, as I've learnt today, is so much more complicated than just helping people. Somehow, I think the ethics and all attached to being a social worker is kind of bullshit lar. Too much to elaborate.

BUT its an interesting module because we discuss about conroversial social problems and all that, like abortion and homosexuality and all. I love discussing all these stuff! Can just go on and on and on and on and on.

Sometimes, I wish I'm smart enough and more eloquent and witty, because it would be great to be a lawyer! Haha. Wow...

So anyway, Christina played the guitar for Jody's cellgroup today! She was good! :D I wish I can master a musical instrument. But always give up half way. Sigh.

Increasingly it seems, I really enjoy hanging out with my friends from church. But I do miss my old friends too. Its always so difficult to meet up once we've gone our separate ways. I dont know, friends come and go. People come and go. But I dont want that. I want them to stay. I want to stay too. Sometimes, relationships just dissolve. I dont know how. It just happens, like gradually, overtime. There's no need for fights or conflicts. It just happens, and suddenly one day when you are free enough, you would ask "How did it happen?".

Okay, sometimes I get abit emo for no particular reason. Maybe cause my stomach got alot of gas today ah. So uncomfortable! Must go toilet to fart out the gas. Haha. But it doesnt work leh! Still got a lot of gas.

Anyway, because I want to have a reason to stay online longer, I've decided to upload our timbre photos! My secondary school classmates and I, celebrating dorothy's birthdyay. Omg, I cant believe we were nerdish, toot toot kids once. Everybody did change and we all look better! Haha.

Love,
Theresa 30th jan '10 2:11am

Soccer balls & awesome tuts;

2010-01-28T01:00:00.000-08:00

Okay firstly, I hesitated over the title for my blog post. Should I write soccer ball or football?

Because both are actually referring to the same sport no? The Americans call it soccer (I expect because football clashes with American football), while the English calls it FOOTBALL. However, Singapore, being a former British colony, we adopt their way of spelling and pronunciation and all I expect. So then, why do most of us refer to football as soccer? Women's soccer, the soccer team, soccer match etc. But English clubs we support like MUFC, LFC... they go by Football Club.

And I think football is a very convenient word too. Because soccer is the sport, and soccer ball is the ball. But football refers to both. I mean, you dont go, "This is a football BALL" right? Because its understood. But if you say soccer, you would need to explain "This is a soccer BALL", because you cant refer to the ball and say "This is soccer". Haha.

And I think football is more appropriate as well because we play with our foot, hence football. I dont really know how the term soccer came about. And like American football, why do you call it football when you run with the ball and bang each other about and only kick the ball over the pole when you score a touchdown? And the ball is not even round, so is it even a ball? When we say ball, must it be round? To me, balls are supposed to be circular in shape! Haha.

Secondly, I realised some names for sports are really straightforward. Like basketball, because you know, the aim is to score it into the seemingly basket like net. And then we have volleyball, cause I assume you have to volley the ball over the high net, hence the name volleyball? And eh, what else we have... Table tennis! Because its like tennis, but you play on the table. And squash, because you hit the ball so hard against the wall so it would be kind of like squashed. And rugby, I supposed its because its a rugged game, so someone decided to borrow "rug" from rugged and form "rugby". And baseball because the aim of the game is for your team to run to their bases. There's also bowling cause you have to bowl the pins over!

But of course, there are some sports which I have absolutely no idea on how their names come about. Like, cricket, and pool, and hockey and wakeboarding and softball (the ball is softer meh!) etc etc. And of course, soccer itself.

So anyway, after hesitating, I've decided to go ahead with soccer still, because thats what most of us here are familiar with! Hahaha.

So the point of this post is, it feels good mingling around and kicking and dribbling the ball once again! It was very refreshing for me, and to clad on my soccer shorts, socks and boots made me so happy. I feel so chio yesterday, even though I may actually be looking like some rugged, boorish girl. Haha.

The 10 rounds round the seemingly large soccer field, and multiple sets of core strength exercises were really a test of mental strength for me. Especially because I've not be exercising for soooooo long. But I felt good, sweating out and all. I do kind of miss those intensive trainings back in jc, but not in the way where I'm willing to do them all over again. Haha.

I do really have to improve my touches once again though. As always, my problem is also low confidence. Damn. But eveybody's nice, especially Yiting and Yinhong (my capt). They constantly clap and shout encouragements to the team. I really like my capt alot. The first time we met, I already like her. She's a good example to the team, a very nice girl, a very good soccer player etc etc. But most importantly, she treats us all well! :D She's one of the main reason I join back the team! Haha.

On the way home, Huiying and I began talking about stuff like life and death, heaven, afterlife... I must say, it was a pretty depressing talk in a way, but also very realistic. Because one day, we would need to experience loss and grief. But I really think time will heal all wounds. Of course, such separation is too painful for our wounds to be healed completely; scars still remain. But the thing is, we learn to move on.

So anyway, my tutorials so far have been AWESOME okay! Made friends, and the tutorials sessions were very engaging. But still, I lack the confidence to speak out in class. I'm fine with group discussion but I'm not like those vocal classmates of mine, who can talk and talk and talk alot. I dont know why they dont feel shy one!

But of course, now that tutorials have commenced, we are all suddenly bombarded with group project works and presentations and all those time consuming stuff! AARGH! But my group mates seemed nice thus far. So I hope everything well go well this sem for me!

click to enlarge

Soccer is the international language that connects people, but separates friends! Haha!

Every time when friends get together, we'll talk about soccer, and suan each other's club to the max. Haha. Nice or what.

Love,
Theresa 28th jan '10 9:43pm

JALAINE & CHRISTINA;

2010-01-28T00:00:00.001-08:00

YOU GUYS ARE SOOOOOO IRRITATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love being busy;

2010-01-26T07:04:00.000-08:00

So, I've decided to continue with varsity soccer and I've also joined the Society of Social Work today. I'm really happy, because I'm realising one of my goal of being active in campus life, and doing enriching activities.

There's soccer training tommorrow, and I'm really hoping that my touches are still there! :D I'm sort of looking forward to it. I miss dribbling and kicking and playing with the football so much, it hurts! Haha.

I'm also going for a sign language course organised by the SSW! I know its going to be really enriching and exciting. Sign language never fails to intrigue me. Especially because during service, my cellgroup often sit behind the deaf and mute congregation, so there will be a person standing up signing, and I will always be looking on in curiousity.

And I'm really in love with all the modules I'm taking currently. Yesterday, I even dreamt of what I learnt in my Political Science lecture! Hahaha. God is good indeed, and I wanna shout His praises!

While feeing happy and positive, I cant help wondering at the same time, how at this moment, people all over the world are actually going through different emotions from me. Someone out there may be euphoric, sad, hurt, unhappy, glad, over the moon, angry, pissed, at the same time as me feeling happy. Its amazing to think that at this moment, somebody is going through a whole set of different siuation that renders him that particular emotion.

Someone out there at this moment may be having an orgasm of their lifetime. Someone out there at this moment may have lost their loved one. Someone out there at this moment may have been retrenched. Someone out there at this moment may have given birth to that lovely baby. Someone out there at this moment may jus realised that she's being cheated by the man she loved somuch. Someone out there may have just gave away her first kiss. Someone out there may just have prepared her first dinner fot the people she love. Someone out there may have lost big sums of mony due to investment failures.

And then I thought about the Haiti people. About how, at this moment, I'm feeling at peace in the comfort of my home after a great bath, with the priviledge to be typing away on my laptop. How, at this moment, many of them are living under terrible conditions, with people they know and love decaying away under the rubble, not too far away from them. How, at this moment, they're feeling so fearful because of multiple aftershocks that remind them of the first big quake that destroyed their homes.

Although I've never been through such natural disaster, I can empathise the fear, horror and loss they are going through just by putting myself in their shoes.

Seeing citicare sending doctors, nurses and relief workers over to aid these people makes me proud. But on my part, I really wish I can do something more for them. I wished that I can just pack up and fly over to volunteer to help. Donations are important. But in their corrupt governmental system, will the money even get through? But then again, saying is easy, the doing always difficult. Helping out in such conditions is really way out of everyone's comfort zone, out of my comfort zone.

I admire and respect people who put their life on the frontline, who are willing to volunteer themselves in such dark times of need. The world surely needs more of them.

I pray that God will continue to use them to aid Haiti, and to bring light to this country. And I pray the God will stand by Haiti and the people, to give them peace, and to show them a way to recovery.

"Look at the world we live today
Look at the hurting everywhere
Let us see mercy and Your grace
Overflowed in every place
Let us be one with You today
And let your glory fall"

Love,
Theresa 26th an '10 11:45pm

Man are complicated;

2010-01-24T00:00:00.000-08:00

You know how, as a christian, we're taught to love our neighbour as ourselves. And how God loved everybody, and so should we; to treat people around us with love and compassion.

And of course, how some people would say that ALL MAN ARE EQUAL.

But I realised, on our part, it can be difficult. Because of the environment we grow up in, we all develop some form of prejudices, and some of us will begin to discriminate. I mean, its very obvious what.

All the PRCs jokes and foreign workers phobia and all (plus many more).

Well, sometimes, because of bad experiences, we begin to build upon such prejudices, and share with the people around. AND THEN, we begin to generalise. ALL [insert particular race] are LIKE THAT!

And sometimes I'm out with friends and they will talk about it, and we will laugh about it and all. But after that, I just get very sick with myself. I mean, hey, we get all upset when we heard that chinese are being discriminated in australia. And we call them racist.

ARENT WE TOO? And sometimes, it seems we're discriminating our race even, and proudly proclaim the fact that we're Singaporean chinese, stressing on "SINGAPOREAN".

I dont know. I just feel quite sensitive about this (especially regarding the china people). Maybe because working for my aunt had allowed me to made friends with china workers, who are really awesome and hardworking. And the other time as well, helping a group of china students for their orientation over here in Singapore. The woman whom I go to have my eyebrows thread is also from China, and she is very service-oriented and treats you really well.

I feel they are all great people. Really great. And very friendly too. So I think thats how such prc comments became very personal to me. I mean, its bad enough that they have to leave all behind and travel all the way to Singapore to study or work or whatever. And then, still having to be looked down upon.

I mean, yeah, they can speak really loud sometimes, and for some reasons, Singaporeans just get so easily irritated by them. But I guess, knowing some personally and working with some of them before kinds of help me to overlook any negative aspect that people are always pointing out.

So anyway, I've just accumulated bile in my stomach, and anytime soon, I really have to throw up. Just went to one of my favourite blogger's website and she posted this real life account of what went through the mind of this Japanese cannibal as he murdered and ate up this Dutch lady. I'm sill giddy after reading it. Plus, there were photos of her body okay!

I enjoy watching criminal minds, learning about the different crimes of man and their sick, twisted minds. And of course, there were cannibalistic cases as well. But I dont get like really gross out.

But reading the account on the blog, I seriously felt so sick. He was writing it like a love story okay? And the photos were awfully gruesome. And when I saw them, I was like "Hey, its a real dead body there. Its not a dummy corpse." And like, omg, its just so overwhelming.

And guess what? This cannibal was accquitted of his crime lar! I dont know how, and he even became a mini Japanese celebrity. I expect there was a huge outcry from the Dutch. But GAGS! Where's justice? This crime is inhumane okay! They should at least lock him up in an asylum or something. But anyway, he's an old man now! Probably he will burn in hell when he dies.

You know, how God forgives us of all our sins?

Sometimes, I think murder is too big a sin to be forgiven.

But then again, I'm not God.

theresa 24th jan '10 10:24pm

Liverpool red;

2010-01-20T00:00:00.001-08:00

YNWA

That is the Reds; with a sense of purpose.

Love,
Turtle 21st Jan '10 12:41pm

If I were to drink Amortentia, I will smell the pages of new book;

2010-01-20T00:00:00.000-08:00

Amortentia: Most powerful love potion in the world.

What it does: Causes the drinker to become obsessed with the one who gave them the potion.

Characteristics: Smells differently to everybody, according to what attracts us :D

For Hermione, she can smell freshly mown grass and new parchment and I expect Ron. Haha. I think for me, it would be the smell of new books, hot chocolate, baby johnson blue colour body soap.... aaahhh.

Went out for dinner with my dear Kathy today. While waiting for her at JP, I went to Harris' to look at the books. I simply love hanging out at bookshops!

And the Lost Symbol by Dan Brown was on 20% off! Since it was published, I've always wanted to get it. But the price was abit too hefty. So since there's a discount, I quickly grab the opportunity. Saved 10 bucks! Haha. Bought it for $38. Quite alright actually. I bought my 5th to 7th Harry Potter books as soon as they came out, so it was like $50 plus I think! More expensive.

So, had dinner at mos burger with kathy. We finally got to meet up after a few months! Really happy! It was a great catched up today. We just kept talking and talking, like in our jc days. She got me earrings and necklace from f21! :D

After dinner, we just walked around the mall, and we came back to Harris, and guess what! I found The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold! I think it was Lengshan who told me that this is a great book. And I've never really thought of reading it until now, cause the movie is coming to cinemas already. And I was really tempted to buy it. And I bought it! :D :D :D

I'm so happy today, because I've got two great books that are waiting to be read, and because its great meeting kathy again!

I enjoy buying books alot. I know to some its a waste of money, because you can borrow them from the library. But to me, its kind of like a collector's item. Like how people collect stamps or soccer merchandises or whatever. Of course, its an expensive form of hobby. And you need like space too, to arrange your books (which I lack because my house's too small already.) So, next time, I should devote one room of my house and design it as my personal library! Haha.

"To live in the world without becoming aware of the meaning of the world is like wandering about in a great library without touching the books"
- The Secret Teachings of All Ages

Love,
Turtle 20th Jan '10 10:56pm

I wanna dance & sing like glee;

2010-01-19T00:00:00.000-08:00

"Fellow glee clubbers, it would be an honor to show you how a real storm out is done. I encourage you to follow my lead."
-Rachel

Glee is AWESOME.

I can watch it once, or twice, or thrice and still not get enough of it. The series is just so creative, and it makes you wanna hold your hair brush to your mouth to sing and dance along! Not to mention how it can make you laugh, and irked you at the same time! And oh! I love their outfit for the series as well! I think its colourful and looks good on them. Especially Kurt's (the gay guy). So new age.

Unfortunately, we all got to wait until April for the next few episodes of Glee, because the crew is taking a long hiatus. But still, its just so amazing. Jas said she can get goosebumps by hearing them sing, and thats so true! I wanna be in a show choir! I wanna join Glee club! :D :D :D

Ever since taking theatre studies module last semester, I kind of developed a liking and an interest in performing. I mean, all along, I'm not one who have stage fright. But to perform and act, or even sing and dance in front of an audience is just so satisfying, a wonderful experience. I know you'll get the butterflies at first, but I think the performance process is just so fulfilling.

I admire friends like Maria and Erika who have been performing on stage and in front of crowds since I dont know when. It surely takes a lot of courage, but more than that passion. And of course, GIFT. I would really love the opportunity to be able to perform on stage! Haha.

And watching glee really shows me the importance of using your gift and talents as well! I know its just like a show, but I can feel the passion from the actors when they begin performing. I can only go "WOW WOW WOW..."!

Okay, enough of ranting.

I really want to go back for soccer trainings. But I'm afraid of being left out and all. The team had already bonded over the last few months, and I'm afraid I wont have any chemistry with them. And the coach, I dont know, there's just something there. I guess I should give myself time to bond and all. But the first step is always the scariest. Haha.

Anyway, my grandma's condition at the rehabilitation centre seemed to be deteriorating. Everybody's worried sick. Her condition is really erratic now. Hopefully, things will turn out for the better. At the mean time, we've just got to trust the doctors, nurses, therapists and of course Jesus :)

-------------------------------------

"So I put my hands up
They're playing my Song
The butterflies fly away
Nodding my head like Yeah
Moving my hips like Yeah
I got my hands up
They're playing my song
I know I'm gonna be ok
Yeah It's a party in the USA
Yeah It's a party in the USA"

Love,
Turtle 19th Jan '10 8:52pm

My Sunday;

2010-01-17T07:03:00.000-08:00

The strength of a human heart is amazing.

I really understood what the sacrifice of praise and worship meant today during service. My arms literally felt too heavy to be lifted up to worship God, my voice seemed to be stuck somewhere. And its painful. But like what Willy said during bible study today, the Holy Spirit is our Comforter, my Comforter. The best place to be to seek solace is still in the House of God :D

I'm really really psyched to hear the good news that after so many unsuccessful attempt, the church has finally found the best plot of land to build our new church building on. Its really amazing, a promise from God coming to pass. I want to be a part of the Arise & Build campaign, to build this spiritual home of mine. I cant describe the elation and joy everyone of us felt today :D

I think everybody needs a best friend. I knew my bestie since Secondary 1, and what drew me to him was because he looked like my cousin. We've been through alot; drifted apart, Cold War blah blah blah, but still, he is always there. Someone once told me he does not believe that a platonic relationship can exist between a girl and a guy. A small part of me agrees with that. It had been tough. But it does not mean that it cant happen. I'm really thankful that till today, whenever I'm feeling down and out at 2am on a Sunday morning, my bestie will pick up his phone and make sure that I will be alright.

I'm also missing my other buddy, teo jingwen! The other person who've been through shit with me since Sec 1 too. And of course, not forgetting the crazy, good times. Havent been spending much quality time with her, which kinda sucks. She's been a very busy teacher lately. But I'm expecting for a meet up soon! :D

So, this week's been pretty pleasant, since tutorials have yet to be commence. Here are some stuff I did to pass my time:

XLB with my favourite girls. XLB is simply addictive!

Chomp chomp with marcus!

Today's also my sister's boyfriend's birthday! Got him topman giftcard cause according to mei, he adores topman. He got me a birthday present last year too, so got to repay the gesture. But more than that, he has been an awesome boyfriend to her, treating my baby sister so well and loving her so much. Its good to see my sister being so happy!

"Do you know what's worth fighting for?
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?

Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul

Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's ever built to last
You're in ruins"

- Green Day

Some songs just touched you so personally because they're so raw.

Love,
Turtle 17th Jan '10 11.59pm

2010-01-14T20:21:00.000-08:00

Well, I've finally resurrected my blog (ONCE AGAIN)! Its been like sooooooooo many months since. Really forgotten about it, and I was telling some of my friends I might have even forgotten how to blog! Haha.

Looking back at my old blogposts, well, I may say I was really an emo kid then. Especially when I first started this blog. But I remembered being really sad and depressed. The soccer girls were my only silver lining. And I realised most of my posts later on are about soccer soccer and more soccer too! My 2 years of JC life, especially J2, practically revolved around soccer. Amazing, tough journey! Thinking back on all those trainings, I wonder how did I ever make it through in the first place!

Well, new year new start! :D No more being emo, the past has been buried, I'm out of my Eygpt!

I'm really excited about this semester. I think I've chosen my modules correctly, modules that suit my preferences and the kind of stuff I want and like to study. And I have like 3 lectures which are on webcast this sem which is really very useful. And saves my time too cause I dont have to keep travelling to school for just 2 hours of lectures. No! Its 1h 45 minutes in fact. So anyway, I'm throwing away last semester wrongs, and concentrating on pushing up my CAP and excel this sem!

So, I've started this year on a rather good note, and I really hope that I wont lose sight of my resolutions that were made at the start of the new year. I believe that if you keep and hold onto your VISION, God will do the PROVISION! :D

Alright, its a boring first new post of the year, just a warm up! Haha. I'm supposed to go to school for my first SEA lecture BUT its just introductory only soooooo should I skip or meet the girls! Have to visit my ahma at the hospital after that too, and come home to study (abit)! :D

Love,
Turtle 15th Jan '10 12:06pm

Updated;

2009-07-06T00:00:00.000-07:00

Wow, I've not upadated in ages. But life's been good after stopping work. Really good, that I've not been touching much of the comp.

So much time spent with the soccer girls, what with the ultra shag soccer chalet, slacking around during the week, going out for dinner and chill etc etc. And then, there's also a whole lot of church, cellgroup and church activites, such as floorball (which, my group, incidentally won!) etc etc. And driving lessons. And time spent with my family (Dad's back from U.A.E a few days ago). Speaking of Dad, my parents found out about my tattoo already. Their reactions were NOT what I expected. Mom kept wanting to have a look at it, and Dad when he was back in Singapore, commented that it was big but nice, but warned me not to ink myself anymore until I get married and all. Haha. Also met up with Szeying, Sha, Lengshan, Bestia, Mengli, Stella, Linda for bbq recently, and was really happy to see them all again after so long.

So anyway, when I've got time for myself, I spend it practicing my keyboard and sometimes, the guitar, of which I'm extremely rusty at(thanks to Bren for helping me to restring it :D), sleeping in until 10, 11 plus, going for a swim, READ READ and READ (I'm currently re-reading my whole collection of harry potter again!), postcrossing, that I hardly have a moment to spend with the computer.

In a way, I find life more enjoyable. Because I certainly found out that using the comp so frequently robbed me off hours. Because you know, sometimes, we just really do the most unmeaningful things on the internet for hours.

Anyway, took like lots of photos during this period of time, but its going to take ages to upload all of them, so just check out facebook or something.

AND AND AND, I just have to say this because I'm really PSYCHED.

HARRY POTTER IS OUT ON THE 16TH JULY!

CAN YOU HEAR SOMEBODY SCREAM? That would be me! Haha. I almost went mad okay? When we walked through citylink to get Xian's present at Esplanade. Giant movie posters plastered on the walls at the escalator area before New York New York! I saw the revolting Fenrir Greyback! And like what Theresa said, Snape (Alan Rickman) is so handsome, and yes, he's at the wrong side :(
And then Ron (Rupert Grint) and Hermione (Emma Watson) are looking fabulous. Especially Ron in his sexy Quidditch robes. *SALIVATES* Theresa's also super excited for the movie, and I think she's helping us girls to book the tickets for it online. I'm like so excited but scared at the same time? Because this movie is going to be a dark one, what with the Inferi and Dumbledore's death and the stupid Lord Voldy.

I'm counting down already!

I love July. Its been the greatest month thus far, especially since school is starting soon. And I havent even get to the part of Liverpool in Singapore okay!

I also love playing taboo! And its the best way to fill up our error book, and increase Jingwen's number of pages, to what 13 page (or more)? Haha.

Speaking of Jingwen, she's so cute can!

Jingwen (commenting about her camera's tripod stand in a very causual tone): Its loose. Tonight I go home and screw it.

Xian, Tzer, Jas, Chai, Bren & Me: *burst out laughing really very badly*

Jingwen: WHAT?! WHAT?!

SO CUTE CAN! Okay, maybe its not funny now, but at that moment, it was. Haha.

Alright! I can go on and on and on... So I better stop here, since I've got ftt to study for :D

Love,
Turtle 9:10pm

Soccer Futsal Soccer;

2009-06-19T00:00:00.000-07:00

My weekends are going to be filled with Futsal, Futsal, Futsal!

I bet on Monday, my whole body's going to be aching like anything, and I wont be able to climb down from my double decker bed, and I just got to lie on my bed the whole day.

But I can hardly contain my excitement! Like Chai said, "I just want to kick ball." See, once a footballer, always will be. My legs are so itchy now, and all I can think of is tomorrow's Futsal friendly with Chris cousins.

AND on Sunday, 9am to 6pm, the Samsung Asian Youth Games Futsal Challenge. I want to win! The Champion team will receive prizes worth up to $20 000 Samsung products. But that's not the reason will I want to win. Victory always taste sweet. Once you've tasted victory, it never feels good to lose anymore. Well, okay, losing always sucks. But when you've won before, and you lose the next time, the feeling leaves you more defeated. But of course, most importanly, we must play the game well. Because the best feeling is always knowing you've played to your best!

So, my weekends are going to be spent with the girls, seems quite like a soccer camp. And then the following weekend will be chalet already! WOOTS.

I cant concentrate at work! Last day today anyway! I just want to change now, and dribble the ball around. And July's dawning upon us, which also means I'm getting nearer to see NO. 8 and his hell of a bomb team!

BY THE WAY, I got a STEVIE G POSTER with his signature, a huge one from adidas, which I pasted proudly on my room door :D And only people who spent more than $100 in adidas can get the poster for free, plus a chance for a lucky draw dip and if you win in the draw, you will get a KOP ticket free for their upcoming match in Singapore! I HOPE ITS ME! Bought Dad a liverpool jersey (ITS FATHER'S DAY ON SUNDAY!), and a soccer ball for myself. So, I got the beautiful poster which said "EVERY TEAM NEEDS A 12TH MAN". Hmm, until now, I still dont really get what it means. Anyway, Gerrard's signature on the poster is like printed on. Its like he signed on one poster, and then the rest are replicas of that original poster. But its still cool. And anyway, I'll be getting his signature when he comes, so I'll wait. Haha.

Hmm, why does time past quicker from the left hand side of 12 than on the right hand side?

Love,
Turtle 12:50pm

Speaking Mandarin;

2009-06-18T00:00:00.000-07:00

I'M UTTERLY DISAPPOINTED AND ASHAMED OF MYSELF!
I cannot string a full sentence of Chinese together!

I used to think Mandarin was this shit subject, that everybody in their right minds should not bother themselves with. And so, every Chinese lessons, I would not pay attention, would not bother to study hard for it, would play a fool with friends...

AND OH HOW I REGRET!
A colleague from China showed me her bank transaction statement awhile ago at work. She asked me to translate some of the English messages on the statment account, because she is unable to read them, and she thought that they were some important messages, and that she owes the bank money. Haha.

Okay, so I read, and I tried to translate to her in Chinese as accurately as possible. But I realised, I CANT! I was stammering, "erm erm erm...", keep casting around for the right Chinese words... So I had no choice but to skip some parts. They were just notes from the bank, like call this number if you have any enquiries, or set up a POSBkids account for your child to stand a chance to win $20,000!

BUT its important to her that she understands what was written to put her mind at ease, and I think I did a total shit job in translating for her. What is taxes in Chinese? I learnt that one before, but I forgot! So I had to ask her (in Mandarin, of course) "You know, when you work, you have to pay the government some of your money right?" And she told me its "Shui" (I think.). And I was like "Dui! Dui!" Its want I learnt before but is long forgotten. And whats bank account in Chinese? I skipped that part. And whats coin in Chinese? I had to try to explain to her about this "Scratch & Win" contest the bank is having, and I wanted to illustrate using a coin to scratch, but WHAT'S COIN IN CHINESE?!

In the end, she said thank you to me. But I'm thinking, how much of my Chinese translation did she understand? I guess she must be laughing inwardly at my Mandarin! And I'm also having a good laugh myself, at myself.

I quickly told Jingwen, and she said my colleague should have asked her, given that Jing's going to be a Chinese teacher. Well, my Mandarin grades had been satisfactory, A for O levels, B for A levels. But I find it really difficult to communicate and express myself fluently in Mandarin. I want to do the same as I can when I'm speaking English.

And I find myself not being able to understand lots of conversations on tv sometimes, especially when watching those Taiwanese Variety shows. Sometimes, Dad will laugh and I would be like "What? What so funny? What is (insert unfamiliar Chinese word/s)?"

I really wished I had put in more effort in my Mother Tongue. Quite shameful not being able to speak proper Chinese, when you are a CHINESE. And Dad's Chinese is damn good lar, considering he graduated from River Valley and Hwa Chong in those days. I'm really thinking of going for Chinese language courses to brush up my Mandarin. I dont know, should I?

EVERYBODY! PLEASE CONVERSE WITH ME IN CHINESE THE NEXT TIME!

Love,
Turtle 1:20pm

Dad Abroad;

2009-06-16T00:00:00.000-07:00

Dad flew to Doha on Sunday night for business trip. Doha is in the Middle East, part of the United States of Emirates (UAE). And Mommy cried!

My dad used to travel overseas alot when he was in the army, because he had to conduct trainings or undergo trainings abroad. Sometimes for a week, sometimes more. So, its quite a normal thing for my dad to travel around, and the family's used to it. But this time, Mommy cried, and it made me really sad too. I felt like crying as well, but then sometimes, its better to keep your emotions in check, so Mom at least would have someone to lean on and comfort her. If we all start crying, it is going to be more emotional and painful.

I think this time, Mom cried because she's looking ahead, as this would be Daddy's final trip to Doha, before coming back and then leaving again to work there for two years. So I guess she was really sad.

When Dad leaves to work there, Grandma, Sis and I will definitely be sad. But I'm sure none will feel the pain as much as Mom. See, at least Sis and I have our friends and school and other activities to keep us occupied. While Mommy has her work, its not enough to keep her from thinking and missing her husband. The man she has been living with for 21 years.

But Mom still encourages Dad to pursue his dream, thats why she never objected him to go to the Middle East, even though she knows there will be a temporary seperation. She doesnt want him to look back one day, and regret for not doing what he wanted to do at his prime.

I really think thats the mark of love, of true love, unconditional love, whatever you call it. Around me, I see friends in relationships which are so suffocating, so possessive. They fight often, quarrel, and get really unhappy and tired of each other. But at the end of the day, they are still together. Why? They claimed cause they love each other. They claimed its because they love each other alot, which explains some of the possessive and suffocative behaviour. When I hear that, I can only laugh.

Not only Mommy, but I see how my unlce sacrifice his time and even his business, to take care of my aunt during this period of time when she is ill. The amount of patience, love and effort he put towards caring her touches me greatly. Its so tiring and draining, but yet, he is still there for her. 24/7.

I'm not sure how many of us takes more than we give in a relationship. And for those who takes, how many are actually truly appreciative of such acts of giving and love?

People now uses the word love like tissue paper. So easily, without thinking. Love is a four letter word, but it actually have a whole magnitude of things inside, such as sacrifice, patience, understanding, tolerance... But now, love is being cheapened. And people delude themselves, as they want to believe that they are being loved. So we see friends who keep "break and patch, break and patch" in a relationship, or we see friends hopping around from one person to another looking for what they call LOVE.

I dont know why I'm talking about this, but I was really touched by my Mom's love for my Dad. And when I look around me and see friends or people talking about love, I get very angry and I feel its so ridiculous, because actually they dont know anything about it. Me, myself, is guilty as charged, in the past at least. But know, I've learnt much more already. I guess 1 Corinthians 13 defines LOVE the best. Of course, there is no such thing as perfect love, because nobody is perfect. But that doesnt mean we cant love the right way.

Love is patient,
love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.

On a lighter note, we all skyped with Daddy yesterday night! Ohhk! Its my first time skyping, and I think its really cool, and the best form of communication for long distance calls. Free somemore! I mean, you can talk through the phone, but you cant see the person at the other end right? But you can hold coversations and look at the other party at the same time when you skype! So we chatted with Dad for quite awhile before he went to take his nap, before his dinner. Its about a 7 hour difference in the time zone. And then we skyped once more after his nap, before we turn in. It was fun! Haha.

It really closes up the distance. Its so true that technology these days makes the world shrink. Haha. So I guess, it wouldnt actually be that bad once Dad leaves to Doha for the two years. At least we can still talk to him, as though he's in the room. I feel really sympathetic for those people who lived in the past. No phone lines, whats more a computer. So they can only write letters, which takes damn long to be delivered during those times, probably 2 weeks or more. Must be suffering. Well, thank God I'm living in the technology era.

Driving lesson later after work! So excited. I think this lesson we'll go to the main road already. Drove in circles and at a damn low speed the other time (my first lesson). The car stalled once or twice, but other than that I thought I was pretty alright! Haha. Now, I just have to concentrate on my FTT, passed in on my first try, and then concentrate wholly on my practical!

Anyway, today's a friend's birthday. A friend I think I've lost. A friendship so strong, but got lost suddenly. I think its my fault, but still, I wished this friend a Happy Birthday, hoping and hoping, we'll get back like in the past.

And today's also Jalaine's knee operation. I think she's quite nervous, but she just kept complaining about having to fast from 12am last night to 12nn today when she cannot even tahan for 2 hours. Haha. Am praying for her op to go smoothly and successfully, and hope that she recovers really really well and fast, so that she can play basketball again!

Love,
Turtle 1:35pm

Love & Fun;

2009-06-15T00:00:00.000-07:00

Sunday was a blast in Church! Jingwen was so high when she saw FIR and especially, Niu Nai, who was last time from Energy. And light sticks in the dark are so beautiful. The testimonies shared by the different celebrities were really inspiring and touching. Speaks really about the cultural mandate that Pastor Kong had be talking about, bringing Jesus into and living for Him in the marketplace!

Rededicated my life back to God, and I'm so happy and blessed. I feel so renewed and so refreshed. Been lost once, but now I'm back. I dont know how the other girls feel and all, since its the first time they are attending church. Might feel uncomfortable, might feel like "Hey, whats going on?", might feel curious to know more... Haha.

Anyway, after Church, Yiting came all the way down to Expo to meet us! So nice right! Then we took the car down to Marina Square to fellowship with the adult cell, and some from Daryl's cell. Maybe playing futsal with Chris's relatives on the coming Saturday at Jalan Bahar *punches the air* Haha. Futsal Futsal Futsal!

After lunch, the six of us, Chai, Chris, Jingwen, Huiying, Yiting and I walked to Esplanade to get some VERY VERY VERY VERY COOL STUFF. REALLY COOL, but its a secret still. Hope Jingwen kept it safely. Haha. On the way to Esplanade, there's this underpass area at the escalator when all the cool, artistic people gather to practice their cool, artistic stuff. And a group of guys were doing beatboxing, which I thought, was really entertaining, and some people were taking photos of them. Talented people everywhere eh!

And there was this creative display of art using corrugated paper all along the passageway to Esplanade. Yiting and I were very impressed. Lots of hard work put into it, definitely.

So anyway, after buying the VERY COOL STUFF, someone, I think Chai, suggested to go to the Marina Barrage, since all of us, except Huiying, havent been there before. And poor Chris in her new high heels! I volunteered to exchange with her for awhile. Woah, dont know how she tahan walking all the way!

And so, we tried to find our way to the Barrage. And we walked all the way to the Singapore Flyer, only to see it from afar. The Barrage is at the other side of the Singapore River. It seems so near but yet far! Huiying forgotten how to walk there, and there doesnt seem to be any routes leading there as well. Except for the River, we were clueless as to how to get there. And the heels hurt so much too. So, we decided "Heck, nevermind!", and we walked to Popeye's to rest and eat (again). Haha. I LOVE POPEYE'S WHEAT POTATO, FRIES, AND ONION RINGS! Their chicken is a tad too salty (compared to KFC's), but yiting said the meat inside is more tender. Still, give me Popeye's anytime! Sat and chat and played games, before camwhoring around the Flyer mall.

First, we camwhored in the toilet. We put self timer on the hand dryer, but then one group of people came in, so it was rather embarrassing. Haha. Then we went to this forest thingy to take more photos. Was really fun climbing up the rocks and all. Photos with Jingwen! Will try to get from her asap so I can upload them! I collected lots of brochures regarding Singapore's places of interests. Look, we dont only have the Zoo and Sentosa! There's so many interesting places to go besides Orchard Road. Huiying suggested we do The Original Singapore Walk, in July! Haha. Hmm, will read through more on the brochures, seems really interesting. Singapore is small, yes, but I'm sure 99.9% of us only know Singapore as the square feet we live on.

Anway, cant wait for July!

AND some random, but nice photos!

Love,
turtle 11:00am

Daydreaming during Office Hours,

2009-06-11T00:00:00.000-07:00

Back to work after 3 days of rest at home! Been suffering from a bad cough and a painful sore throat (Now how's that for a combination!). Guess its due to the spicy Korean stew we ate on Saturday. Well, the sore throat is gone, BUT my cough got abit worse. With lots of phlegm. Eeww.

I really cant wait to stop working for good (NEXT WEEK!). But then, where do I get money to spend then? I'm abit broke now. Money really is not enough. Thus, I was thinking of taking up a really part time job, so as and when I'm free, I can work and study at the same time. At least the meagre sum earn would be enough for me to NOT keep asking my parents for money.

I really need someone to teach and discipline me regarding my finiancial matters!

Anyway, I'm really quite fond of the Jonas Brothers, but you've got to admit, this is quite scary:

I think Joe Jonas made a total fool out of himself in this video! First, the suit and the heels. Then the hair. The the sick facial expression, when he anyhow lipsynch. Haha. I suppose its hilarious, I did laugh. But it freaked me out at the same time! And oh, when he turned around, his back view looked like America's Next Top Model's Cycle 11 winner. Mckey or something. Lucky it was not Nick or Kevin who did this ridiculous stint, if not, i will cry! Hmm, I wonder what Beyonce would say if she sees this? Haha.

Going for my first driving lesson today, straight after work! Cant wait :D I want to get my license quickly. At the meantime, must prepare for my FTT on the 7th July. Hope its as easy at BTT, though I doubt it.

AND and, my tattoo's healing perfectly. Though it can get rather itchy at times. So, I'll scratch it gently, on the outside of my shirt. And its scabbing too, with flakes of inked skin falling off sometimes, like dandruff. Haha. But otherwise, its perfectly fine :D

And I'm looking forward to tomorrow's evening, as I'm joining Chris for the Song of Solomon Conference at Expo. I'm so glad she so willingly asked me along. Its been awhile since I went to church with a friend. Now its always just going for Sunday service with mom, or sometimes aunt. I really want to have a breakthrough in my Christian walk with God. Its very dry, really. I'm tired of being wordly. I'm tired of being a Sunday Christian. I've always remembered what Pastor always said, that Christianity is not a religion, its a relationship. Its becoming more of a religion to me now. I dont want it. The days when I was so on fire for God, attending services, cell group meetings, conferences... I really miss those days. I know that I'm not living the life that God intends for me. The life I'm living now, it lacks something. It lacks something which I know I had it during those days. Something which makes life meaningful, purposeful and exciting. I WANT to find it back. I've always believe in my faith, but its time to act it. I've procrastinated long enough, and there's this inner thing in me that keeps pushing me to seek fellowship, to grow. I've made the decision to act, and the rest I leave it to the Lord.

Zoe = life of God. Hey, that was my batispm name. Yes, I need to find it back.

Anyhow, I really really want to thank my dearest friend, Maria, for always being there and praying for me, regardless of how many times I would run away. From cellgroups, from the committments I'm scared to face. My dear friend, you're part of the reason I never stop believing, in God and in myself. Your walk with God through these years excites me and touches me profoundly. I wish I could be there, sharing them with you. But its okay. My new journey with God will start soon! Thanks Maria, for everything! :D Especially for your prayers. I love you!

I pray for a new seed of faith to be planted in me, and I pray for a whole new relationship with Lord Jesus. Amen.

Love,
turtle 1:45pm

My first Tattoo Experience,

2009-06-06T00:00:00.000-07:00

I was inked just yesterday, 06062009.

Since 13 years old, I've already wanted a tattoo. And when I flipped onto Miami Ink and then LA Ink (tattoo tv series), I've never wanted a tattoo more.

To me, a tattoo is never a taboo. Its always a piece of art, body art, whether you get it done with a meaning to it or not. Of course, I do not appreciate tattoos which are done any old how, or those that are done in a whim. But tattoos which are done with much thought, and much skills (by the tatto artist), on the body canvas, always look beautiful to me.

Finally, I got it done today, with the support from a couple of friends.

And I love it.

I would definitely get more tattoos in the future. But not just yet.

Tattoos are not only costly (mine's $180) and painful, but they are also a lifetime investment, so it is very important for me and those who intend to get it, to thnk very carefully if they really do want to get ink.

If you really do, then the pain is no longer a major factor because its definitely bearable, and you would grit your teeth to sit through it.

I got mine done in abt an hour. It did not hurt in the starting for me because it felt like epilating. However, as the skin got more raw, it began to hurt alittle bit more. And some parts are rather ticklish too. Soon, I felt a burning sensation. The outline for me, is more pain than the shading. However, there are some parts which are rather, what you call, shiok.

It really helps to talk to your friends and tattoo artisit once in awhile to take your mind of the pain. Chai, Jingwen, Jas, Elaine and Kathy (she was coincidentally there!), came in once in awhile to chat with me.

My tattoo artist is a gentle man, Alecs, who owned the tattoo studio, Alive Tatto Studio, at Clark Quay, The Central. He told Elaine and I, while tattooing me, that he had me tattooing for 9 1/2 years already. And he was introduced to me by Jalaine.

To me, it is very important to get an experience tattoo artist, who does not blindly accept your design, but also give his advice to you on whether it would turn out nice or not on the skin, and what can be done to make the tattoo looks better. I feel that it is important to take your tattoo artist's advice into consideration as well, so that the tattoo can be done in the most beautiful way. Of course, ulitmately, the decision is still yours, but its wise to discuss your design more thoroughly with your tattoo artisit.

And of course, you must make sure that the tattoo studio you go to uses NEW, DISPOSABLE, STERILISED needles, meaning that it is NOT REUSED. To me, this is the UTMOST importance You dont want to get an blood transmitted diseases from another person!

So anyway, I really love my tattoo alot. I think that Alecs had done a GREAT black & grey with it. Pain factor? Prob a 6? Its really BEARABLE, and dont let pain, or rather, the anticipation of pain stop you from getting a tattoo if you really want one, because really, anticipation of pain is overrated. As for the sound of the tattoo machine, well, its actually quite alright. Haha.

So for now, I have to take proper care of my tattoo for the next two weeks at least. Have to apply the aftercare lotion, and wash it with cold water. It would scab and get itchy but I'm not suppose to scratch it. Haha.

Alive Tattoo Studio, at Clark Quay The Central

Darlings.

Choosing the eagle i want for my tattoo, and found the one which I had been looking for.

Having fun embarrassing ourselves in public, while my tattoo artisit draws out the design. Took him abut 45 mins!

Back to the Studio!

Looking at Alecs's portfolio to pass time. Lots of nice designs, and one guy actually tattooed the AC Milan crest on his arm! hardcore fan or what! We thought maybe Xuan could get a Red Devil! Haha.

Me getting more nervous!

Finally! Getting ready to be inked!

Privacy! Haha.

Getting the stencil on!

Alec's tattoo equipments.

Being tattooed!

Outline done!

Shading done!

Masterpiece! Fleshy, me. Haha.
Anyway, LOVE THE EAGLE AND THE VICTORY BANNER. It turned out much better than I expected.

After getting the tattoo, with alittle burning sensation, but feeling good :D

I'm really happy today. Besides getting the tattoo I've always wanted, I also managed to meet Kathy after so long, and we chatted for quite awhile as I was getting inked. Really happy that her relationship with her boyfriend is growing stronger and stronger! They are one of the most loving couples I've ever seen! Haha.

Managed to plan and discuss soccer chalet too! CANNOT WAIT!

And also, Chai, Huying, Jingwen and I went to feast on authentic Korean cuisine at Bukit Timah, while Elaine went home to study (or watch tv huh!), and Jas went for her class gathering. The food was delicious and sumptous, and we ate to our fill! And the price is so reasonable! We only paid $15.40 each! And they have very good service too. Presently, Jingwen and Huiying are very into the Korean culture. Haha.

After the hearty dinner, we walked from Timah to WestMall, before catching a bus home. Slow, night walks are ultimate. Even though we were sticky and rather smelly from the Korean bbq smoke.

I'm more refreshed now. This is the day I had been looking forward too, since the week of chaos, which left me jaded.

BUT, I got 2 big and painful ulcers now! Haha.

Oh well, life has its ups and downs :)

Love,
turtle 12:45pm

Time out,

2009-06-04T00:00:00.000-07:00

Completely jaded.

Only looking forward to the weekends.

And to finally stop working.

I cannot take it anymore.

turtle 10:05pm

2009-05-30T01:41:00.001-07:00

I've finnaly settled all my nus admission stuff required of me at the moment! Its like a load off my shoulder. I'm glad I've got it done as soon as possible, because when I procrastinate, chances are that, things would never get done :)

So, I took leave to go for my medical examination on Wednesday for my medical examination. I was very thankful for the day off, which I feel I really derserved and needed. So anyway, I did not have to book for an appointment online with the nus health centre because the official booking date is not yet open. That would be in late June. And I couldnt find my way to the health centre! The weather was so hot, and I was wearing spectacles (because there's vision checkup), and I was perspiring profusely. Felt damn fugly! But managed to find my way there eventually, cause a kind auntie showed me the way. Spent about 1 1?2 hours there because there were quite alot of students, especially international students. Lots of PRCs there too, and one of them who was queing up before me kept vomitting into a plastic bag. Guess she was very sick. And speaking of sick, the swine flu has finally invaded Singapore! 4 cases to date! I hope it was spread like an epidemic like that of SARS. Stupid viruses.

SO anyway, the xray chest chekup was so awkward. I had to take off my bra, then wear over my shirt, and wait for my turn to go into the xray room, where I had to press my chest against this flat board thingy to get my xray taken. Haha. It feels weird being braless alone and at a public place, even if its for awhile. When I got out of the xray room, two indian men were looking at me, and I was like "Shit, I hope its not the nipples they are looking at!" Hahaha. For once, I'm thankful that my breasts arent big. Then I started to think of my friends with bigger boobs, and i laughed to myself. Haha. Speaking of boobs and breasts, I'm totally fine if people refer to these said private parts as boobs and breasts. But I find it entirely obsence when guys call them tits. Like, "Look at her huge tits!", "Woah, can I tit fuck her?"...
I have no idea why, but to me, its rather crude. If someone said, "Look at her huge boobs!", its sounds funny, and less degrading in a sense. Likewise, for "Look at her huge breasts!". That would sound like a more scientifically intelligent comment. Haha. But I just feel rather insulted and all, when someone, especially if he's a male, refering to breats as tits. Not nice, not nice!

So anyway,

I FINALLY GOTTEN MY BRACES ON FRIDAY MORNING!

Initially, my orthondontist was at Paragon. But the price is too expensive already, $5400! Dad finally found an orthordontist at Ghim Moh for me, called Royce Dental Surgery. And my orthordontist is damn patient and nice somemore. For a much cheaper price, and possibly, better service, lucky we did not carry on at Paragon. The whole process of putting the braces on was quite alright, just alittle discomfort thats all. But the whole process was rather long, so I got very bored. And i chose yellow colour since its my favourite colour.

AND I'M LOOKING SO FUGLY NOW!

I cant close my mouth with ease, I cant talk properly, and as of today, I've developed one ulcer at my bottom left mouth already. And my teeth are so tight, and I cant bite on normal, solid food, because its painful, and my teeth cant seem to close together to chew the food properly into smaller bits!

Yiting was the first to see my braces in school, then Xianwen. I felt so conscious and all about opening my mouth, but everybody was nice, and they just ask me to talk normally and all. But its so difficult to talk and laugh!

HAd 3 half od soccer matches with J1 and us against the J2s. We lost! So long never play soccer already, and I was so frustrated for the 2 halfs which I played. There wasnt much flow, and the game keep stopping every now and then, cause of a handball, foul or cause the ball went out. So, I was getting very pissed with myself, and I wasvery tempted to walk out of the gmae, because the whole match felt so stuck. Maybe its just me lar. But anyway, the J2s played really well. As for the J1s, though the still lack of some skills, they have the drive. and energy to run for every ball. And daring enough too, to head and dribble. Ohh, and Winston was our ref, he said yes so willingly. I thought that it was really sweet of him, and he lost like 26kg cause of NS! Cool.

Saw Jalaine and Jegan. Missed them alot! Jalaine sat down with the girls, and we just talk and talk. They say she talked very fast! Haha. But Jalaine does talk veyr fast. Like a train like that. Haha.

Later, we played half field with the J1s and Winston. It was damn fun, that one. Found back the flow. Or maybe cause its a smaller area, and more like street soccer and futsal, which the girls have been playing more often compared to a full field soccer. After the match as usual, we dily daly until 8 before we left school to go JP for dinner. But Elaine left cause her grandmother's in hospital (hope she's well already), and Tzer and Xuan too, to go home. So juniors and us went to JP, also cause Chai, Jingwen and I wanted to buy the Liverpool tickets.

In the bus, on the way, Xian, Jingwen and I reminisiced about our fun-filled lower sec school days, as always. It enver gets boring, and we always laugh each time we remember the past. Apparently, I used to be very obsessed over this guy classmate of mine during Sec 1 and Sec 2, and he would complain to Xian and Jingwen about me! Haha. Sometimes, I get get really obsess with people. Abit scray hor? I remember when I idolised N***** when I was in J1, how I will stalk her from behind when I see her around in school. I belive, if I saw Gerrard, I'll do the same too. Haha. But anyway, I was rather immature during lower Sec lar. Used to catch snails with Xian and some of my classmates to scare people too. Secondary 1 and 2 was really damn fun. Secondary 3 and 4, I've learnt alot about life, like all the npcc conflicts once we've got our posts, the ugly side of people etc. And J1 and J2, I've learnt of the beauty of a team, and that, its possible to sitck together through thick and thin, and to overcome any conflicts with openess and honesty and love and fun. So as long as there is no black sheep in the team of course (like in my npcc days). Haha.

Thus, I'm looking forward to what I can experience in my University days! :D

So anyway, we went to JP, and ate BenTen at the old wing! Kathy told me its nice, and Chai too. BUt the time we settled down right, it was already 9pm! I was so freaking hungry, and I ordered my chicken teriyaki curry rice. I was anticipating my food, only to realised within my first bite, then its so diffcult and painful to chew and bite. I gave up halfway, and no longer felt hungry anymore. Saw Linda too, with her boyfriend! As usual, she's very cheerful and chatty, and she's going FASS too! :D Chatted with her for quite long. Hmm, really wonder how the rest like Bestia, Lengshan, Shasha, Junkai they all are doing!

After dinner,

WE BOUGHT THE LIVERPOOL TICKETS!

The Kop seats are sold out alr! :( So we got the North seats, facing the goalposts. Chai said its good actually, because we can catch the balls when they come flying towards us! I'm so excited! Haha. Better keep my ticket like a treasure. AND CANNOT LOSE IT!

Today, my family's having a bbq later soon, at 630pm. Dad's idea! I cant wait, but my braces making me quite bitter, because I'm sure I cant eat most of the food. Ohh well, I'll try though, and enjoy myself!

Thanks to my friends, like Jas, Elaine, Kathy, Weizi, Sharron they all, who put braces before. They told me its normal to get ulcers and I must prepared for it, and that I will get use to it soon! Etc etc. Makes me feel better. So, I must endure. There's a price to pay for beauty! Haha. 2 years, 2 years! Haha.

Adidas Sundown Marathon at 12am later. All the best to those particpating, like Weizi. Mind over body!!! :D

I'm going to stop working after the first 2 weeks of June, after which, I shall enjoy myself thoroughly before term starts. Looking forward to the DaVinci exhibition with Huiying and co, date with Jingwen to Sentosa, date with kathy too, and last but not least, soccer chalet!

Til then,
I must constantly remind myself, Isaiah 40:31.

"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings as eagles;
they shall run, and not be weary;
and they shall walk, and not faint."

Love,
Turtle 5.50pm

2009-05-25T00:00:00.000-07:00

NO MORE SOCCER MATCHES!

Epl is officially over, so now, my nights during the weekends would spell BORING! For at least 2 months I think. And I'm rather disappointed with New Castle. Its really a shame that they had to be relegated. After all, they won the title once before. And now, having to play only for the championship league, its rather humiliating in a sense. Poor Owen!

Speaking of Epl break, I STILL HAVENT PURCHASE THE LIVERPOOL TICKETS! I dont know whether its sold out already or not. And Yiting's not going already, so left Chai, Jingwen and I. Supposed to get it on last Friday actually, but did not have the time in the end. So, I better get it soon before I have to kiss the tickets goodbye!

And speaking of last Friday, went to catch a family movie with parents and sis. We settled for Night in The Museum 2 since it was a comedy, and mom only likes comedy. The movie was OKAY only. Quite disappointing because Night in The Museum 1 was like really hilarious. I remembered catching it with my sec school friends and we had to sit seperately because the midnight movie tickets were almost sold out. Couldnt laugh out loud as much as I wanted to. But it was really good. But then, part 2 was abit, I dont know, not as funny I guess. Amy Adams's acting was so cold in the show. Dont think she was funny at all. But I still like Owen Wilson and his other small Roman soldier friend. Haha. I mean, they are like so small, and when the Egyptian Pharoh held Owen Wilson out of the cage, he totally reminded me of my hamster! Haha. And I also like the Einstien. So cute with the bouncy head. Haha. But Ben Stiller's still the best. Although he's not particularly funny this time round, I love his movies and him!

On Saturday, I went to get my braces mould taken and the dentist put seperaters between my teeth at the back. Its kind of causing me alittle ache now when i bite my teeth together. The braces will be put on this coming Friday, and I can't wait! Wonder how nerd will I look with braces on. And I need a wisdom teeth surgery some time after the braces! Haha.

After that went out with Sis, with the thought in mind to go Haiji Lane. But she's so lazy, so we went to Cine to catch Angels and Demons instead. The movie was a blast okay? It was wayyy much better than Da Vinci Code. But Tom Hanks looked older and fatter. Eee, dont really fancy him. The first part was quite boring, when they kept talking about the symbols and church and all that. But after when they started mudering the priests, it got really exciting. I think its as good as the book itself. But of course, if you read the book, you would have more insight to the story as there would be explanation of all those historical and religious stuff. And Ewan Mcgregor is soooo cute! Even if he's a priest. Haha. Sadly, he self-torched in the end. Tragic.

Sis and I are also embarking on a Meteor Garden marathon of F4 and Barbie Hsu. Cause after watching the Korean Meteor Garden, we suddenly had the urge to re-watch the Taiwanese version. The series is just soooooo nice and heart-wrenching. I cried dont know how many times already. Makes me feel depressed. But I still really enjoy the series. I used to think Barbie Hsu was so plain looking, but now, I think she's really pretty. I guess taste changes when you grow.

Going for NUS body checkup on Wednesday morning. What a chore! Should I go brazilian waxing with Theresa after that? I've been looking forward to our waxing session. Haha.

And soccer match this coming Friday again, with juniors! So excited, and that would be straight after I put on my braces. Dont know if I'll be in too much discomfort or not. Ohh well, most importantly, I can get to see the team again, and also, GET BACK MY CHALET MONEY! Haha.

Dad is leaving for Doha on Monday already. I dont want him to leave... :(

And I came across this at work today, which made me laughed :D

And then it made me think of Adam Lambert, and then I got sad again, because really lar, he should win AI. Boo.

"All them grown full things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show because
You loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today face to face"

Love,
Turtle 8:30pm

2009-05-21T00:00:00.000-07:00

Somebody asked me to update my blog when I'm free, since it has been stagnant. Haha. Well, I'm back from hiatus! :D

First, i want to say:

I'VE BEEN ACCEPTED TO NUS FACULTY OF ARTS AND SOCIAL SCIENCE!

WOOTS! PRAISE THE LORD!

The torturous wait is finally over! Damn the laggy administration. Must really thank Chai and the rest, for always comforting me and telling me not to worry. And Chai again for asking me to always check my application status online, because the letter came later. And Szeying, because just after she texted me, I found out that I was accepted into the course. My lucky star? haha.

I'M AN UNDERGRADUATE!

But still, have to settle more admin stuff such as medical check up and passport photos, which have to be send back to NUS. Such a hassle.

But anyway, I'm really psyched. Really looking forward to varsity life, and acing all my subjects, and graduating with all the fantastic looking certs. And finally, getting poached by all the huge MNCs and earning BIG BUCKS. Haha.

And secondly,

SCREW AMERICAN VOTES!

ADAM LAMBERT IS SUPPOSED TO WIN IDOL CAN!

I'm thoroughly disappointed with the results! I like Kris, he seems like a nice guy, jason mrazish kind of singer. But Adam is the bomb! He's performances are always original, exciting, energetic... And he's eyes! God, they look at you so intensely, I could almost feel the electricity. And the way his mouth goes when he hits the high note! Did you hear how he sing Mad World? My hair were standing on its ends!

Sigh. Cause he's gay lar. That's why he lost. I mean, how can being gay affect his ability to entertain and wow the crowd? The 4 judges love him lor. This is obviously discrimination.

I was sooooo sure he would win! I'm really bitter about the results. As soon as he cuts his first album, I'm rushing to the stores to get them. I'm smitten by him. Haha.

Lastly,

LIVERPOOL IS COMING TO SINGAPORE ON 26TH JULY!

AND TICKETS ARE OUT TOMORROW, $88 FOR ALL NORMAL SEATINGS!

Yiting, Jingwen, Chai and I are going man! Getting the tickets tomorrow at IMM's adidas. Can hardly contain myself! In just 2 months, I'll get to see legends in the flesh. I was thinking if I should witness their arrival at Changi Airport. And do you think if its possible to get their signatures? And probably a handshake or hug from Steven Gerrard? I'm really anticipating for the day to arrive, the atmosphere in the stadium, and the fevered crowd! I think, majority of the spectators will be Liverpool fans lor. Haha.

Its a one in a lifetime experience not to be missed! I mean, the next time Liverpool comes, Gerrard would have retired already (I think). And maybe, the likes of Torres and Alonso and Mascherano would no longer be playing for the club. SO, MUST GO!

Even though we didn't clinched the epl title this year, well, its still the best year for Liverpool. So, I'm still happy for them. Next season, they could only do better :D

But sadly, my dad wont be able to join me. He's leaving for Middle East for work already! Most probably in two weeks time, but he will be gone for 2 years! I really have no idea how life's going to be without my dad around. Now, my whole family all female already. And even worse, nobody knows how to drive! Have to say bye bye to the most convenient mode of transport once dad flies. WORST, my freedom also will also fly away. Mom will surely be more protective of me since dad's not around physically to care :(

I need to search for something positive out of him leaving. It could not be all that bad?

ANYWAY, I'm getting braces soon. And I'll be getting my tattoo done too, once I've got my May end pay. Thanks to Jalaine, haha. Going to her tattoo studio.

I've already decided on the design and everything. I cant wait! This is going to be an important milestone in my life, so I really want some of my good friends and my sis to witness it. My parents, haha, I dont think they will be thrilled.

So, I'm also looking forward to getting inked. Something I've always wanted since 13 years old.

Life has been rather dry lately, cause I'm feeling stressed out by certain circumstances thats happening to me. Cried out to Weizi and Jingwen, and I'm really thankful for their understanding and support. This whole thing thats happening sucks out my strength and zest sometimes, so its vital for me to constantly renew my strength and mind. But I pray that it will be over soon. Father Lord, give me more patience, love and understanding to deal with it. Amen.

At the meantime, I strive to make the best out of my youth, because I dont want to live with regrets because of the things which i HAVE NOT DONE. I have the rest of my life to get over the mistakes of which I may commit. But when I get older, the fire and zeal to try new things, or things which I had wanted to try, would be smothered. This, I'm sure, is most truly regretful.

"I text a postcard, sent to you
Did it go through?
Sending all my love to you
You are the moonlight of my life every night
Giving all my love to you"

Love,
turtle 8:20pm

2009-04-20T00:00:00.000-07:00

I had a fruitful weekend! Managed to meet up with Szeying, Jingwen, and also went shopping with my mommy and daddy at town. And did Javanese shoulder and back massage on sun afternoon!

Had a really good time with Szeying on friday after work, at town. It was awhile since I've last saw her, and i really like her hair alot! I told her she looks like a smoker now, and she got rather offended. Haha. I dont know why, but some people got the smoker face, and some people dont. Usually, gorgeous looking girls do not have a smoker face, so when you see a gorgeous looking girl smoking on the streets, its kind of a turn off. But then, usually (to me), cool people have a smoker face, cause they hang out with the wild crowd, so yeahh, I wouldnt be surprise if they light up a stick. Hmm, it sounds very nonsensical. Haha.

So anyway, Szeying and I caught the 930 movie of 17 Again by Zac Efron at The Cathay, so since we've got alot of time to spare, we went to Ben & Jerry's so that Szeying could apply for a Scooper position there. The girls working there are quite good looking! After filling up the form, we walked all the way to Heeren for our dinner. Along the way, it was certainly a great time catching up with her, sharing with her about my life and vice versa, as well as asking her about the clique since it was awhile since I've met them too.

After much consideration, we settled for Fish and Co., my all time favourite restaurant. Yummy! And i ALWAYS only eat their fish and chips there. So, normally, I'll pick on other people's course to have a taste of their other dishes. It was a good dinner date there, and the ambience was good.

There was this shelf, seperating the other tables on my left, and three very pretty girls were sitting at one of the table there. I told Szeying that i really enjoy looking at pretty girls, but it has nothing to do with lesbian tendencies at all. It was rather admiration and envy, and sometimes, I just wish that I'm blessed with the good looks, the height and all. But then again, I know that I'm special in my own way, and its important to be thankful for how God made me.

Next to our table, was a couple, probably around our age too. They were not a couple couple, but rather, a boy and girl on a date. I guess it was like their first date out or something, because they were very quiet throughout the meal. Haha. And when the guy made conversations, the girl would reply, but she kept on fondling her itouch, and so when she replied him, she was looking at her itouch! Throughout the whole meal, I was observing them silently, and i found it quite funny, cause its like she's answering an inanimate object instead. I guess its probably due to her nerves and all. Its not easy going on a date. For me, I wouldnt keep quiet or look away. I would just blabber and blabber and blabber and fidget and fidget non stop. More cause for embarrassment there. Haha. Well, it goes to show that people have different ways of behaving on first dates, OR around the person they like.

After dinner, we went shopping, and i bought a blouse and a shirt from Flesh Imp, while Szeying got a shorts and a shirt. Its nice spending money on things that look good on you :)

Walked back to Cathay after the sumptous dinner, and we had trouble finding Cinema 1 because there were no directions or indications of Cinema 1. So we went up and down and up again, before the person told us that Cinema 1 was the Grand Cathay. Haha. We're so noob. First time inside the Grand Cathay, and its called Grand for a reason. Its huge, and gives you the Esplanade Threatre feeling, if you've ever been inside. And, there's the curtain covering the screen too, which would be drawn once the commercial starts. Seats are comfortable, and very spacious! I like the whole thing.

So, we watched 17 Again, a movie starring Zac Efron. Thats why Szeying wanted to catch it. But i dont fancy him, cause i find him alittle too plastic. But i've got to admit, he's rather cute in the show.

17 Again is a movie about Mike, who married his high school sweetheart after graduation, because she was pregnant with his baby. Thus, he gave up on chasing his dream of playing varsity basketball, as well as other stuff he aspired to do. Then 20 years later, he was on a verge of divorce with his wife, and he was not in good terms with his son daughter and son as well. He blames his wife for where he is today, with a bad job and all. So one day, this old man, his"spirit guardian", gave him a chance to become 17 again. At first i thought that it would mean he would go back time, and relieve his high school years. Instead, he's 17 again, but his soul inside is still 37 years old. So, he enrolled himself in his children's high school, and began to make up for his children and his wife (with the help of his best friend), and in the end, you guessed it, they patched up.

The show is very cliche, and there isnt really a climax. BUT if you want a good laugh, you're in for a good time because the movie is damn hilarious. VERY VERY hilarious. The whole threatre was like laughing away, and i couldnt stop laughing too. Especially Mike's best friend, who's obssessed and fanatical with all things fantasy and sci-fi, like Lord of the Ring and Star Wars. And he even know how to speak Elf by learning it from LOTR's annex. haha. Its really worth your money to catch the movie, especially if you're bored to death rotting at home, or if you need to wind down!

After the movie, we camwhored at this small mall at dhoby ghaut station. It was fun because at 1130, there was nobody at all. Finally, took a cab home because we were too exhausted to take the mrt. And I needed to rush home too as I had work the next day. The taxi ride was so relaxing. I love being the passenger in a car at night, especially when i'm being driven through Chinatown and the CBD area. It gives me a different feeling than the usual west side, rather surreal.

On Saturday, after visitng the dentist, shopped with mommy at Far East. Bought lots of clothes and 2 pairs of shoes, and i could still keep going. I'm not a shopaholic, neither am i one who enjoy shopping very much. However, when I have to shop (like its time to buy new clothes), its something very therapeutic to me. Otherwise, I would find it a complete waste of time and energy.

After lugging bags of merchandise home, went to meet Jingwen at Jurong East Central to get our eyebrows thread. Then went to Cafe Cartel for dinner, where we sat for quite awhile, chatting non stop about this guy in her office. Haha. I had hot chocolate, milky hot chocolate. Yummy, the best, most delectable hot drink on Earth.

I also finally had my Javanese shoulder and back massage on Sunday afternoon! Usually i do foot reflexology or leg massage, so a back and shoulder massage was really new to me. I had to take out my bra, and i was so awkward. Mommy, who was on the bed beside me, took out hers without any embarrassment at all! Haha. Initially, I fidgeted non stop because it was so ticklish! And my body reacted to each rub. But after that, i was more or less used to it, and could relax. The next day though, my body ached like shit! Mommy said it was normal cause i dont usually go for massage. An i remembered Theresa telling me that she got brusies after that too. Haha.

I love shopping at supermarket!

Recently, I've been reading alot, now that my workload at the office is lighter, thus having more energy to resume my favourite hobby. As such, I've come across two new authors which I like very much, and one new book which made me cry.

The first new author I came across is William Bernhardt, who writes thrillers. Thrillers and romance are my favourite genres, followed by fantasy. I have no interest whatsoever, in sci fi. So anyway, I've read two of his books already, and I find him a very different suspense author from the rest. I'm not sure how to explain it, but he's got a very interesting plot, with always a twist to the story. And he uses amazing vocabulary which got me flipping the dictionary on numerous occassions. The first book of his which I read was about how a lawyer fought a murder case for his client in court. Reminds me of Law and Order. And despite the dialogues and all, he managed to make it really exciting and page turning. And the second book of his was about this psychotic serial killer, who kills young, beautiful teenage girl and disfigures them in the sickest way possible, because he thinks that is the way to a New Age, and basically, he got his murder ideas from Edgar Allan Poe's books. Great author, great books.

The second new author wrote the new book which made me cry. She is called Cathy Glass, but she writes under a pseudonym, so her real name is unknown. Her book is called "Damaged: The Heartbreaking True Story of a Forgotten Child". Cathy Glass is a foster carer, so she fosters children from social services, and each different troubled child brings life changing experiences and lessons into her life. However, this 8 year old girl, Jodie, was the most impactful and different of them all. She wrote this story in the hope that it will provide an insight into the often hidden world of foster care and Social Services, and create awareness of the thousands of neglected and abused children in your community, and the world.

This is the one of the most heart wrenching story I've ever read, and also a story which is a living testimony of how love and patience can touch even the most damaged person. Jodie, an 8 year old girl, has been raped since 18 months old by her own father, as well as by other uncles and old men, part of her father's paedophile ring. Her mom just stood by watching, and sometimes photgraphing the act as well. Her mom and another woman would sometimes rape Jodie as well, with a metal spoon. And Jodie is also forced to perform oral sex on her father as well. Inhumane and sick. You can imagine how Jodie is when she was being fostered by Cathy. An example of how the years of rape and abuse waffected her, was she smearing faeces on herself and around the house. She also cut herself on purpose and smear the blood onto her face, and she does all these, grinning. I could feel goosebumps on my body as Cathy describe the agrressive and unnatural behaviour of Jodie. Her son even said that Jodie reminded him of Chucky, the demon possessed doll. But slowly and eventually, Cathy's profound love and patience unlocked her darkest, most painful secrets, and brought justice to her family.

Then again, Jodie can never be free of her past. At least though, she's no longer living in it. Sometimes, stuff like this makes you wonder if God is ever around. But, people like Cathy are living testimony of God's wonderful works. The world is full of evil, because man are born sinners. But its full of good as well, because of our God given ability to love.

"I remembered my previous placement, Callum, a sweet-natured ten-year-old. Callum had lived with his mother, who was a non-functioning alchoholic. That meant that she was incapable of leading a normal life, she was too locked into the prison of alcohol dependency. The Christmas before Callum came to me, his father had sent him a cheque, which his mother had subsequently taken and spent on drink. On Christmas Day, she'd woken up after midday with a hangover, and then tried to make Christmas dinner. She hadn;t done any shopping, so she'd peeld the breadcrumbs off some chicken nuggets, and triedn to pass it off to Callum as roast turkey.

Despite her drink problem, Callum's mother hadn't been violent or abusive towards him, but her alcoholism had been such that Callum had had to look after her, rather than vice versa. For the previous three years, he hadn't had a single Christmas present. The Christmas he spent with us, I bought him a skateboard, helmet and kneepads, and when he opened them he ran out of the room, because he didn't want us to see him cry."

Arsenal vs Liverpool match, at 3am later! I hope I'll be able to wake up to catch it :D 8 more gmaes left for us, its important we win each of them. The title's inching closer...

The weather is so hot, and supporting juniors tml for their 2nd match of the season!

Love,
turtle 9:50pm

2009-04-16T00:00:00.000-07:00

I'm finally back to blogging! Knocked off on the dot today, so that i'll be able to have the time to update!

My trip to hainan dao was really good, a holiday very different from the norm because this trip allowed me to taste a different kind of lifestyle altogether. And it was an enriching trip where i was able to learn about my roots and heritage, and appreciate my grandmother even more. I'd share more about it the next time, with photos and all :)

So anyway, catched a movie at Westmall yesterday with Jingwen and Yiting. And Jingwen was cetainly blabbering away about somebody, while Yiting and i teased her non-stop. Our favourite past time eh? haha.

The movie we watched was The Shinjuku Incident, a Hong Kong flim about illigal immigrants in Japan as well as the Yakuza (mob, mafia, secret society whatever you call it).

When Jingwen suggested to watch this movie, i was all for it at once because i've been wanting to watch it the first place! Why? Because (may have some spoilers ahead):

1) This movie starred Jackie Chan. And all Jackie Chan movies are action-packed and good. So i have no idea why Bren doesnt like him. Hmm.

However, when i read the interview in Lifestyle about this movie, i found out the Jackie Chan had no part in directing it. He was just the lead character. And, there will be no kung fu action from him as the usual because in this movie, he doesnt know kung fu. And, this movie has a few rather violent scenes, which is not very Jackie Chanish. And violent, i mean, like hands chopping off and all. haha.

Thus, i was more intrigued by the movie, because its something to expect isnt it? Jackie Chan being portrayed so differently, and dramatically as well.

2) This movie starred Daniel Wu! Please! He's like the most gorgeous Asian man walking on two legs yo! I've been in love with him since Sec 1 so of course, i must support him by watching this movie. haha.

And you know, there was a minor sex scene between a prostitute and him. And minor, meaning, just some subtle thrusting actions. BUT the prostitute was groaning and moaning rather loudly, and Daniel Wu was moaning too!

And i was like "Man, does he really moan like that in real life?" woah. sexy.

3) The director of the movie is Derek Yee,who directed another movie a few years back called The Protege, which impacted me greatly. The Protege also starred Daniel Wu and touched on the issue of drugs production, drugs trafficking, and drugs abusers.

Therefore, i knew that this movie would be as impactful as The Protege, or even better.

And i was not disappointed :)

Derek Yee managed to touch on the serious issue of illegal immigrants in Japan, which were also not treated properly, as Japanese are xenophobic. At the same time, the movie also showed the power the Yakuzu had, especially on the Shinjuku district.

Primarily, the movie is about how the illegal Chinese immigrants, with Jackie Chan as the leader, protected and defended each other, and rose to power in the Yakuza. However, what really impacted me was that the 360 degree change a person can go through once he wields power in this hand.

From the humble and close knitted group of Chinese immigrants to drug dealers and bullies, was what became of Jackie Chan's men once they rose to power in the Yakuza. They became proud, selfish, and even willing to betray the brotherhood formed when they went through thick and thin together in earlier days. This eventually, led to the downfall of everyone of them. The rise and fall.

The movie ended with a flashback of the earlier scenes, of Jackie Chan and his men singing and dancing happily together before they got involved in all the Yakuza shit. It pulled at my heartstrings. Like, if i were one of the character in the end, i'd think "Look at those happy days. When have they gone to? I want it back."

I dont know, i find the movie very tragic at the end. I hate such endings. Cant we have happily ever after?

On a lighter note, the movie has its violent part. Twice they showed hands being chopped off. And one of the scene was when Daniel Wu was being disfigured and amputated at the wrist by the notorious Taiwan gang. I burst out laughing at the part when his hand was chopped off, and he was screaming and waving the palm-less hand around. I really have no idea why, but i found it rather funny. I turned to Jingwen on my left, and she was shrieking away and covering herself with her jacket, and i looked at Yiting, and she was looking very seriously at the screen. But at the same time, my heart also pain to see Daniel Wu like that. haha.

Also, in The Protege, there was a scene of dismembering a hand as well! I guess thats the director's trademark? haha.

And i thought it was rather unglam of the Japanese mafia to fight with what, parangs? Haha. They are like in suit, which makes them look smart. And then, they pull out those long knives. Like no class, cause knives and poles are used for street gangs. Not high class secret society. haha. Guns would definitely look more professional on them.

Ever since i was being forced to watch Saw 5 at my friend's house, i no longer freak out when watching such violent and probably, gory movies. Haha.

Anway, yeahh, everbody should watch The Shinjuku Incident :)

As usual, chatted with Jingwen online at work today. She was super bored and sleepy because Yiting took leave for soccer. And somehow, we chatted until S Factor, Singapore's reality tv show, which was greatly criticised as the girls were deemed as behaving in a degrading manner. And then she started asking me "Why S Factor?" And i told her "S" can stand for anything like "Sexy", and " Saucy".

And i started telling her my S factor is Smart, and my S factor on the field is Swift. haha. And then, we began thinking of S factors for our team, and we realised that JJ women's soccer is the S factor itself! haha. Because we are/have:

1) Soccerrettes

2) Swift

3) Speed

4) Strength

5) Stamina

6) Steadiness

7) Solid

8) Size

9) Standard

10) Spirit

&
11) Siaoness!

HAHAHA. i think we can win the FHM cover, and the other girls hands down. haha. only joking :D

movie date with szeying at town tml! yays finally able to see her!

Love,
turtle 9:53pm

2009-04-02T07:59:00.001-07:00

ADAM LAMBERT'S THE NEW SEX!

okay. what can i say?
he made me so horny yesterday!

HAHAHA. his voice can shatter glass! woah, woah, woah.

HAPPY 14TH BIRTHDAY DYON

anyway, i tried self waxing on my lips at home, and its waxing gone wrong! its either i'm a total noob at it, or i've really done it wrongly. haha. i think its the latter!

cause now, i've got a damn painful abrasion on my upper lips!

mom laughed because she finds it funny. i laughed too, cause what i did for beauty, backfired. haha. but if it doesnt heal by tml, i'll scream. ohh well, nothing to worry about, cause it'll still heal eventually.

and, England defeated Ukraine 2-1, thanks to Peter Crouch (woots! once a liverpoolian, always a liverpoolian haha.), and John Terry. AND! Spain, the country which i supported during the Euros 2008 won Turkey 2-0. i saw abit of that match, and Turkey did play well. not their day though.

anyway, the thing is, both goals from Spain are scored by Liverpool players! *Play that Funky Music* Alonso and Riera! hahaha. well, cant wait for World Cup 2010 in South Africa! :) :) :)

according to yiting, jingwen's getting bolder haha. cant wait to see hoow will things develop once i get back from Haikou.

sigh, its really difficult to play a friendly on sat now, with some of us having work. i think we've postponed it for 3 weeks already? i sincerely want the friendly, but i cannot afford to take anymore leave. this is further coupled with the fact that i'm taking a week's break next week for my trip. i'm getting the feeling that i'll be having less time for soccer very soon.

its depressing.

"We're all on a journey to finding the real inner you
Make it better
We're here to welcome you

Time stops still when you've lost love

Happiness
How'd you get to be happiness
How'd you get to find love, real love
Love, love, love"

Love,
turtle 11.35pm

2009-03-30T00:00:00.000-07:00

postcrossing has always been my favourite hobby ever since lengshan introduced it to me. i've got so many beautiful postcards from all over the world, its certainly a collection i'm proud of.

i enjoy looking at the postcards themselves, but what really exhilarates me is the message from the sender. sometimes, they would tell me alittle about their lives, sometimes information of the landscape on the postcard, sometimes brief details about their country. i also love admiring the different unique stamps from their countries, so in a way, i'm collecting not only postcards, but stamps as well! :)

so, i'd probably share alittle of my collection each time i blog.

The Netherlands

stamp from The Netherlands

"Hi Theresa,

Greetings from Holland! Wooden shoes are not often used here, but some people still do! Happy postcrossing!

Nico"

China

Stamp from Taiwan

"Hello~ Ni Hao! Last year i went to China and bought the postcard in Tianjin City. Hope you like the view card. 2009 is the year of Ox. Happy Niu Year!

Beva"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i'm totally in love with the Be Heard in Chinese advertisements campaign. The little international kids could speak and articulate mandarin so well, so much better than me in fact! haha.

but the thing that makes me love it more is that they are really really ADORABLE! each time i watch the commercial, i cant help by squeak or squeal because i feel like hugging them and squeezing them. they are really really adorable please. REALLY REALLY adorable!

and last but not least, my favourite one, Noemie!

HAHAHAHA. so adorable! aaaahhh!

ohhk so anyway, snap out of it. i'm really entertained at work. by my dear friend jingwen, who's currently crazily obessessed over a certain something, that is capable of making her carry out strange acts such as laughing to herself! hahaha. as such, her poor colleague yiting, wants me to add that she's thoroughly irritated by it because jingwen's behaviour is out of the norm. hahaha.

scandalous darling!

meeting szeying on wed, i hope! miss you darling!

Earth Hour 2009 was fun, spending an hour with the absence of light, as our home was plunge into darkness! mom felt depressed though. haha. i'm glad we took part in this meaningful campaign! God bless us all :)

i've still yet to receive a call from the uni. rather nevous. HOW?! and anyway, i only applied for NUS. sigh!

by the way, i'll be going to Haikou or otherwise known as Haian Dao, from 6th April to i think 11th or 12th April, next week! just a simple holiday with my mom :) CANT WAIT!

Love,
turle 11.15pm

2009-03-27T00:00:00.000-07:00

EARTH HOUR 2009

29th March 2009, Saturday, 830PM to 930PM local time, is the time for all of us to give our support to the Earth Hour 2009 campaign! simply flicked off all lights in your home for 60 minutes, which would be an effortless yet symbolic action!

Earth Hour is a global campaign to reach out to the world, so as to raise awareness and take action to fight climate change. The weather today, is more than erratic. Winter arrives later, and temperatures fluctuates in extremes.

Climate change, in particular global warming, is a very evident problem today, which results in implications and environmental problems.

Global Warming, to put it simply, refers to a general increase in the Earth's temperature, which is caused by enhanced greenhouse effect, and reduction in carbon sinks.

Here are some of the many consequences of global warming:

1)Changing Weather and Extream Weather

For example, hurricanes that are simulated under warmer and higher CO2 conditions are more intense. Worldwide, the proportion of hurricanes reaching categories 4 or 5 (with wind speeds above 56m/s) has risen from 20% in the 1970s to 35% in the 1990s.

2)Melting Glaciers and Ice Sheets

The escalation of ice melt from continents as well as from sea ice masses and glaciers is the most widespread effect of global warming. currently, mountain glacier retreat rates have been increasing in the Andes, Alps, Himalays, Rocky Mountains and North Cascades.

Effects:

-landslides

-flash floods

-glacial lake overflow

-serious threat to the future of local water resources because increased melting would cause greater flow for several decades, after which some areas of the most populated regions on Earth are likely to run out of water as glaciers sources are being depleted.

-increased in temperature which may disrupt the ecosystems

-increase bacterial activity in soil lead which causes them to become carbon sourcs instead of carbon sinks.

THAT IS, contibuting to the enhanced greenhouse effect, and thus global warming, instead of facilitating the removal of CO2 in the atmoshphere.

3)Sea Level Change

The first island destroyed by rising sea levels caused by global warming was Lohachara Island in the Sundarbans in the Bay of Bengal, which was home to 10,000 people.

Effects:

-coastal erosion

-coastal flooding

THEREFORE, lost of homes.

4)Acidification

CO2, in water, becomes a weak carbonic acid. Thus, increase in greenhouse gas would lower the average pH of seawater.

Effects:

-detrimental on coral reefs

-affect the growth and reproduction of fish, which is a mjor source of food supply for Man.

5)Effects on Ecosytems

Many of species ar risk are Artic and Antartic fauna such as polar bears. Forests in some regions, such as North America, potentially face an increased risk of fores fires.

6)Effects in World Food Supply and Changes in the Biosphere

It is projected that soil moisture will fall by 10% if global warming continues into the next 30 years. agriculture would therefore, be severely affected, and coupled with a global population boom and uneven distribution of food resources, the consequence culd be disatrous.

7)Spread of Disease

Global warming may also lead to an increase in malaria and dengue infected areas, especially in poorer countries.

8)Effects on Health

Extreame high temperatures increase the number of people who die on a given day for many reasons, for example, heat exhaustion.

In the lower atmosphere, ozone is a harmful pollutant which damages lung tissues, thus causing problems for people with asthma and other lung diseases.

PLUS more pollutants from smokers, negative effects of heath would definitely increase!

Earth Hour 2008 was a success, with millions of people in some of the world’s major capital cities, including Copenhagen, Toronto, Chicago, Melbourne, Brisbane, Tel Aviv and Manila, who took part and switch of their lights for 1 hour.

Why should i switch off the lighs then?

TO SAVE CARBON DIOXIDE!

"According to WWF Thailand, Bangkok decreased electricity usage by 73.34 megawatts, which, over one hour, is equivalent to 41.6 tonnes of carbon dioxide. The city of Christchurch of New Zealand reported a drop of 13% in electricity demand."

-from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earth_Hour

So, just 1 hour of your time could make a huge differenc for Mother Earth! Of course, it would be even better if all of us make it a habit to reduce our electricity usauge at home and at work, and NOT SMOKE. and bring our own plastic bags. and not ask for carriers. and reuse, reduce and recycle. and not sleep with the aircon on. and not drive our cars around always. and take public transport once in awhile IF you drive a car. and use environmentally friendly product. and buy solar powered car. and play more sports instead of computers and watching tv. and limit your time on the computer, or rather, switch off your computer when not in used, rather than putting it on standby mode as it still uses up electricity. and not have long baths. and not let the water run. and... so many more!

HAHA. all these, are what daddy, mommy and geography taught me! daddy is very excited about Earth Hour and he was the one who actually initiated to get involved with it :D So, my family would be taking part in this campaign by switching off the lights for 60 mins! my mommy reminds and encourages us to save electricity by pasting stickers on certain parts of our home, which shows us the amount of money we can save if we switch of the lights. and sis and i have an air con in our room which we hardly use now, because we feel guilty switching it on every night like we did in the past. this really helped to cut down on the electricity bills significantly! a fan will do just fine.

of course, we could do more in conserving the resources of Mother Earth such as reducing our water usauge, and cutting down our computer hours! haha. dont worry, we're working on that!

so, join in later this evening, from 830pn to 930pm, to do your part for the Earth we live in! :D it would be fun and exciting!

This year's slogan:

WHEN IN DOUBT, VOTE EARTH

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

after work tml, i'll be attending a dentist forum with my parents at paragon! going for scaling and polishing two weeks back, the dentist Doctor Chan, a 71 year old strong and beautiful lady, told me that its best for me if i put on braces! though its a pity too. cause basically, my teeth are straight except for one of the front teeth.

yet, if i dont put on braces, it would get more crooked as time passes due to the pressure exerted by the other teeth. so, my parents are bringing me to the forum to learn more about braces and stuff, and hey, there's invisible braces too! never heard of them until then.

hmm, would i have problems lip locking with braces on? haha.

then shopping afterwards! :D

anyway, recently, i'm so entertained online by my darlings jingwen and yiting. everyday, work would be less mundane with them to chat with online, which would make me smile like a silly kuku infront of the computer! especially yiting, who shares with me her OFFICE SCANDALS.

speaking of office scandals, my daddy was sharing with me office scandals in his new workplace. i feel like sharing right now, but have to wake up for work tml so i'll share some other time!

Love,
turtle 12:00mn

2009-03-25T00:00:00.000-07:00

so, i'm back to blogging again!

been having lots of fun with the girls, its really a pity we're no longer schooling. Jingwen was telling me how much she missed soccer and everything to do with it. cause it seems that the end products of our two years of JC life are memories of soccer and the bond so intricately formed. ohh yeahh and soccer souvenirs too. haha. cause most of us will live with old injuries, inflicted during training and matches!

"Don't you worry.
Sometimes you've just got to
let it ride.
The world is changin'
right before our eyes.
Now I've found you
there're no more emptiness inside...
if we're hungry,
love will keep us alive."
-Eagles

i cant wait to upload the Teen Games futsal match photos, where we emerged champion and first runner up, as well as the birthday potluck gathering.

to elaine who's crazy over the little boy: darling! i cant stop thinking of your ba ba (fats!) hahaha.

to theresa: i simply enjoy whispering nothingness into your ears, and acting like we're gossiping away. we should lock brenda in the storeroom the next time! haha.

to all march babies: thanks to you lovelies, I'M BROKE! hahaha. but everything's worth it because you guys are always there. i love you :) and thank God march is coming to pass. haha.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

my left eyelid has been twitching almost everyday at work recently, and sometimes at night too. it got me really really irritated, and rather anxious as well. the latter because i'm rather superstitious, and you know, we Chinese believes all sorts of things. and i'm always hearing stuff like when your left or right eyelid twitches, it means that something bad is going to happen. i mean, even though i try not to believe in such 'pan dan' stuff which have no evidence to back them up, i find myself thinking about it, and then worrying about it. like i mean, what if its true! and hey, the left eye lid is twitching almost everyday! it should mean something, shouldnt it?

and so, during work, when my eyelid began to twitch again (like muscles have an orgasm can?), i decided to check it out. i googled "left eyelid twitching", and here's something i've found!

"Eye Twitching, or Blepharospasm, is involuntary eyelid twitching. It is also referred to as an eye muscle spasm. The term blepharospasm really applies to any abnormal blinking or involuntary eye twitching of the eyelids caused by uncontrolled contractions of the muscles around the eyelids.

Sometimes people experience the twitching under the eye and others may experience the twitching in their right eye or twitching in their left eye. In simple terms it is a blinking disorder. One type of blepharospasm, Benign Essential Blepharospasm or BEB is a blinking disorder that is not life threatening and has an unknown causes."

-http://www.eyecaresource.com/conditions/eye-twitching/

such spasm (haha) may be caused by the dryness of eyes, so i attribute my problem to my contact lens which i wear almsot 24/7. in this case, i've got nothing to worry about eh! scientifically, that is. haha.

so, i proceeded to find on superstitions regarding the twitching of the left eye. and here's it!

11pm - 1am

Twitches or tics in the left eye means a noblemen will come to see you. If the right it means you will be invited to a party or feast.

1am - 3am

If in the left eye, this means that something will happen to worry you. If the right eye, then someone is thinking about you.

3am - 5am

If in the left eye, this means that a friend from afar will come and visit you. If the right eye, this means a happy event awaits you.

5am - 7am

In the left eye, this means that a special guest will come. If in the right eye, then everything will go well.

7am - 9am

In the left eye, this means a close friend will come from afar. If in the right eye, then expect a slight injury.

9am - 11am

In the left eye, this means you will go to a party or feast. If the right eye, you will have a quarrel or a disaster.

11am - 1pm

If the left eye, this means you will eat and drink heartily. If the right eye, beware or there will be a disaster.

1pm - 3pm

In the left eye, this means that you are safe and plans go well. In the right eye, it means that you will have a minor happy event.

3pm - 5pm

In the left eye, it means you will lose money. In the right eye, then you will be thinking of your loved one very much.

5pm - 7pm

In the left eye, this means a guest is coming. This is also true for the right eye, but from far away.

7pm -9pm

In the left eye, this means a guest is coming. In the right eye, it means you will go to a big gathering.

9pm - 11pm

In the left eye, it means that a friend is coming. In the right eye, beware of trouble in court.

wow, so it seems its not so bad that my left eyelid is twitching because it is a better omen than having your right eyelid twitching eh?

my left eyelid mostly twitches from 9am to 1pm, in the early hours of work, so: i will go to a party or a feast and eat and drink heartily! hahaha. so thats good isnt it! so far, i've been to our soccerettes birthday party and eaten heartily there. too much food, no? haha. and since my left eye is still twitching, i guess i can expect more feasts and parties to be coming my way!

so anyway, i've finally registered and paid for my university application, putting FASS as my 1st choice, and Law as my 2nd. i pray that whatever course i get into, its all in God's bigger plan!

off to watch the 9pm auntie housewives' series! :)

Love,
turtle 9:20pm

2009-03-24T09:26:00.000-07:00

lame shit video. hahahaha. quite funny actually, especially if you're rotting in boredom. i've been kissing gerrard for god knows how many times. his pouted lips on the camera lens is my handphone wallpaper, thanks to Theresa. serious case of fantasy there. haha. anyway, i think vds is rather good looking! haha. and stupid lucas, looking quite ugly with the haircut. i cant seem to like him no matter how hard i try.

i will try to make my blog neater tomorrow, coupled with an update! :)

2009-03-11T00:00:00.001-07:00

after work today, took bus home with my aunt as she wanted to meet mommy for dinner. my uncle drove my aunt to work today so she didnt came in her own beetle. however, my uncle was still working at 6, so we had to go back to my place by ourselves. my aunt suggested we take a cab down, but i thought it would be such a waste of money since we're working at batok and home is just like a 5 mins drive. so, i told my aunt to take the bus, and she immediately said yes! she was so excited cause its been 20 over years since she took the public bus! haha. have been driving for the past 20 years thats why. its really weird though, to see my aunt taking the bus haha. got her to tap the ezlink card and she was so unsure. so cute! haha. she made me so excited to take the bus too!

i wonder if in the near future, public transport would be foreign to me too. i mean, now that i really want to learn driving and have registered, i'm saving up for an old car. a really old one, probably 8 or 9 years old so that i can drive straight away once i get my license in a year's time. so, i'll be driving and driving and driving, but still, i cant see myself not taking the mrt or bus. weird, as public transport is part of my life now. haha.

for example, going out with benson took awhile to get use to as well, cause he drives a car. its just unfamiliar going out with a friend who has a car as us teenagers go everywhere by train or bus. haha. i really cannot imagine any of my peers owning a car. its like we've all grown up already.

haha. dont know why am i talking so random stuff suddenly.

so anyway, as most people should already have know, i've gotten back my A level results last friday! i could feel my legs shaking as i queued to take back my results from ms mardiana and mr hendri. when it was my turned, my hands shook rather badly and i couldnt really sign my name! haha. but when ms mardiana said, "congrats, congrats", i knew everything turned out well. so this is it:

H2

HISTORY: A

GEOGRAPHY: A

ECONOMICS: C

H1

GP: A

CHINESE: B

PROJECT WORK: B

AND

MATHEMATICS: S (hahaha! subpassed lar!)

i'm really really satisfied with my results because none of my grades dropped. improved for all except for maths. haha. cause never bother to study. absymal performance for this complicated, makes no sense subject haha. i'm really one who's more than unevenly balanced in the left and right brain. haha.

so now, headache for which courses to take in university. but i've settled in choosing to go to nus. so now, i'm not sure if i should apply for school of law or fass. there's pressure from mommy, and relatives as well, and sometimes you want to live up to people's expectations so you wouldnt feel like you've disappoint them. cause when you do, you'll get abit disappointed as well. so, i guess, i will go to their open house to poke around before deciding.

during this stressful and draining 2 years of education, i really want and need to thank my teachers: mr hendri, miss mardiana, miss tiong, miss lum, mr lim and miss hwang for making lessons so interesting and being such fabulous, patient teachers. must also thank miss lim for her encouragements and to coach, for more encouragements. haha. despite pushing us so hard for soccer, he would encourage us to study hard as well!

also want to thank all my friends, soccerettes and clique and kathy, for being such good influence (haha), and building a conducive environment for me to study smart in. and also, to all other friends sunh as Weizi and Marquez, for neverending morale support.

and most importantly, to God, for his unwavering faithfulness and favour :)

2009-03-11T00:00:00.000-07:00

HELLO! i'm at the office now, having tea with my beautiful aunt :D

WORKING HERE IS FUN!

2009-03-05T00:00:00.000-08:00

tomorrow's the day already.

to be honest, i'm quite at peace with it. i remembered clearly how fretful i was before i took my O level results. how i couldnt fall asleep, how the anxiety keeps building up, how i felt like i was going to barf anytime. haha.

rather similar to the start of every 100m dash, and pre match pep talks.

but this time, i'm feeling quite relaxed, and in fact, rather excited, to receive my results. i thought i would be fill with a great sense of dread, but no, i was wrong.

confident? no, of course not. considering how much time i spend playing soccer, and how much of the remaining time was devoted to studying. haha. but i guess, i've come to the point where i've realised, that it makes no sense worrying over something that have already be defined months ago. you cant change it anymore, can you?

also, i've talked to my parents and my aunt, and they were really encouraging about it. through these talks, i know that even though i may screw up for my As, it is not the end of everything. nor will it be the end of my education.

because i really enjoy learning. ohhk, not maths and science of course. those subjects are out of my radar haha. but i enjoy humanities, and even during my holidays, i do read up on some stuff, like history. also, working with my aunt have evoked in me a certain interest for business management. and i started to see a whole new different side of running a business (i.e you may be the boss, or not). the challenge of it all drives my curiousity to learn more about it.

thus, in the event of unsatisfactory results, i would definitely still continue my education. private uni, maybe? or night classes. there's always a solution to everything, as long as you want it, and never stop finding.

i'll certainly not let a piece of paper determine the kind of future i would have :)

but of course, if i do well, there's going to be headaches too. because, which course should i go! i want to take a double degree in history and geography, but i'm also interested in law and business administration. haha. something needs to click first. its like, my mind and heart are a jigsaw puzzle i'm almost done there. the picture's almost perfect. but there are still some missing pieces. i know what i want to do, but its a rather hazy vision. i need the mssing pieces. then, i'll be able to make the perfect decision.

ohh! i've finally registered for driving. will be taking my basic theory next month. this month's too packed already. jasmine's chalet, clash of the titans, two futsal compeition... no time to study. i cant wait to pass my basic theory, start practical, study for advanced, and get my license. then, i'll go for a bike license when my dad starts working overseas! haha. probably that would take about a year or so though.

i'm becoming more finacial savvy too! :D trying to plan my finances properly, getting alot of advice from my aunt. dad bought life insurance for sis and me, but i'm thinking of buying one endownment insurance for myself, which would be an important investment. but first, i need to find out more about all these suff.

my first test though, would be this very particular month! most of the girls are march babies (ohh well!). while i've already planned on what to get for them, keeing to the budget is another thing! haha.

alright, time to sleep :) i'm hoping that i'll dream of 4 As! the last time my dream came true, it was liverpool vs chelsea during first half of the season! i dreamt that we scored 1-0 and won, and we did! hahaha.

and by the way, hear this particular exhilarating news on the radio yesterday:

LIVERPOOL MAY COME TO SINGAPORE FOR A FRIENDLY WITH THE SPORE LIONS DURING JUNE OR JULY!

NOW TELL ME, HOW COOL IS THAT!

CHEERS :D

dad got so angry with me for playing guns n' roses songs. he said its crap music and its so noisy. woah, he must be alittle deaf then. hardcore music, with a hardcore guitarist!

2009-03-02T00:00:00.000-08:00

VICTORY IS

ORGASMIC;

not fried mars bars. haha.

the rainbow that reminds us of God's promise (snapshots taken from aunt's car):

on Friday, we had soccer competition at Singapore Poly, organised by SP itself. i was desperately counting down the time to the end of work. couldnt wait to meet the girls after like 10000 years. surprised them with my bangs! haha.

was alittle disoriented though cause my colleague met with a serious accident during work, where thick canvas of dont know how many kilograms fell onto his head from the 2nd storey. Thank God he didnt die, or was not paralysed!

but anyway, the soccer competition was hell of a fun! being pampered soccer players as what coach always says, the REAL grass field made us all so itchy. the girls were scratching here and there and everywhere. haha. but i really enjoyed playing on the real field.

so anyway, it was half field, 7 aside, and WE WERE THE CHAMPIONS! it may not be A div, but it was close to winning the Champions' League! cant tell you how happy were we! The juniors were really great in supporting us off the pitch! and Jasmine darling scored the winning goal for us! :D

took lot of photos, despite being so dirty and smelly! and i felt like i was sucked back to year 2007 and 2008, where we girls went through thick and thin together during every training. it felt really good to be able to play together as a team again, against others.

BUT THEN, we were sort of cheated can! instead of trophies, which were definitely more significant, they gave us $10 vouchers and a certificate, which the organiser conveniently forgotten to get it signed. haha. so dumb. but anyway, what matters most was the time with the girls, and the adrenaline on the pitch!

and yeahh, my menses came during the competition. did not realised it at all until we washed up. and my shorts was white! Thank God, i wore tights beneath so it didnt stained.

Thanks Juniors, for the super unglam photos of us all, esp Jingwen's! haha.

we said "4 A1s"

and Elaine, thanks love, for the sweet Valentine :)

the next day, couldnt join the girls' for street again due to work! but we met for dinner in the evening, New York New York at JP to celebrate the feb babies birthday as well as Chris's. she was totally caught off guard!

took a cab from tampines all the way back home after work. costs me a fucking $20 (heart so pain)! but i had no choice, if not i would be super late for the dinner. but the taxi driver uncle was really really nice and sweet, and he is the kind of senior citizen i want to be in the future, still so alive and excited about everything :)

but then, we waited for like 2 hours plus until Chris finally came, and our food all turned cold already. Xianwen said that soccerettes should always bring a microwave along with us in the future! we've got a strange habit of tardiness and dily dalying. haha. at least my pasta wasnt so bad as jingwen's porkribs, which totally dried up and became rock hard!. haha.

Jasmine was totally drop dead gorgeous with her new hairstyle and dressing. totally guy mesmerising yo! and she said the fried mars bars were orgasmic and that snowballed into a conversation about sex and orgasm among jas, theresa, elaine and i. totally enriching! haha.

sweet cupcakes as birthday cakes for chailing, yiting, huiying and chris (in order of age haha), as the new york new york service crew surprised them with a Happy Birthday song. but chai said she expected it alr :( still, her face was tomato ketchup red lar. anyway, this waiter(who later asked for jingwen's number), gave us 3 plates of fresh whipped cream! and we smeared them across the birthday babies faces! woots! everybody in the restaurant was looking at us! spotlight yo! but then, we were so occupied in our fun, none of us really cared. Chai got the most of the cream, thanks to elaine! yiting and huiying mostly got a hair dye. haha.

later, some of the girls went home, while the rest of us chilled out at Starbucks. Elaine and i totally goggled over this hot, tall, tan and super well toned girl. lesbian tendencies alittle, no? haha. we chilled and gossiped (mainly), about this girl and that boy in our school. haha. typical females. haha. and the rain was pouring outside, and it felt so comfy inside with your friends around you. catched the last bus home, and the last bus home made me think of somebody. sigh.

will upload the photos as soon as possible!

anyway, saturday was a bomb except that liverpool fucking lost to middlesbrough. absymal performance again lar! really doing a big favour to man u can. yiting and i were so pek chek (x1000000000000000000) sigh. hopefully, they dont give away the champions' league title so easily. i'm still a little in disbelief. thanks to rafa benitez, the most erratic and unfathomable manager.

lucas leiva look rather weird in his short hair anyway. haha.

and congrats to Lixuan, Chai, Chris and Bren for winning the Carling Cup. Lixuan, i think, when man u won, first thing you did was to message us right. haha. 1down, 4 more titles to go then! haha.

procrastination is really running circles round my head. i've wanted to sign up for driving for like millions of years ago already, but i still havent gotten down to doing it! went today after work with dad, but you've got to wait for like what, 3 1/2hours! crazy or crazy? so, we're going back first thing tml early morning, as soon as the driving centre opens. abit kaisu, but it beats having to wait, which is a huge waste of time! Thanks Lixuan though, for lending me the basic theory book :)

RESULTS ARE

COMING OUT THIS

FRIDAY, 6TH

MARCH!

GOD, HAVE MERCY :)

2009-02-19T00:00:00.000-08:00

i've finally taken the initiative to resurrect my blog. haha. as a warm up to months of absence of blogging, i shall first start by dumping photos. haha.

soccer reunion dinner 2009:

HOT or HOT? haha.

LIVERPOOL'S PHEONIX!

first day of chinese new year (doing away with the photo captions due to laziness):

second day of chinese new year:

soccerettes's house visitng:

sis's birthday, 14th feb:

my birthday present to her: her favourite disney princess, Sleeping Beauty

vday and sister's birthday feast at dempsey hill:

looking so shit ass tired after a full day work

loving daddy and mommy

yes! i've finally got my blog moving again :D

working for my aunt now. really learnt alot of stuff about business management. now, i may want to take business studies in uni already. haha. shall see first! but really miss working at dunlop cause there are so many nice people there. but most importantly, i miss the girls! i'm so busy that so far, i've only met jingwen :(

i need more sleep!!!!

2008-12-08T00:00:00.000-08:00

ohh gosh, rafa might sell keane during the next transfer window :(

2008-12-07T00:00:00.000-08:00

thursday was hardcore fun with everybody at my palce. initially, i was whinning and moody because the rain spoilt everything. plus, the tabble tennis and squash courts were under renovation PLUS there's a funeral so its not right to use the basketball court as it would make too much noise. everything seemed to go wrong.

but in the end, things turned out rather great. went to borrowed the ghost movie rule #1 from jasmine and let them watched. perfect atmosphere because of the dark and gloomy environment outside. baby glen and hao wen were too scared to watch so they played the comp. after the movie, the rain lightened abit, and we braved it to play soccer at the playground. since my playground is still sandbased, there were water logged areas which made the whole game of soccer even more fun! we got dirty by splashing water at our opponents, and by splashing water as we sat the swings. baby glen got rashes!

i love this playground. its here where i learnt to swing, and to jump off it in motion. its here where i learnt cartwheels. its here where i played catching every 6 to 7pm and learnt that i could run. its here where i made lots of friends.

aahh... childhood.

playing soccer with them was quite scary as i was afraid i might hurt them, even though dyon and glenn are in soccer team. but cause, they are so small sized compared to me! sis kept asking me not to pass the ball to her haha. so, it was great fun, afterwhich we went to the toilets to wash up where i lost my lotto soccer ball! went home to change, while the boys changes to their swimming attire to go for a swim. sis, kaiwen, hao wen and i sat by the pool side watching them play and swim. hahaha. it really brings back more good memories of my childhood!

went home for dinner after the swim, where my maid, eka whipped up some dishes and dad bought some extra ingredients to add to the yummy diiner! dinner was great, almost everything was finished! then, we relaxed and chilled out at my house, by playing the comp, watching tv, and playing with lorry, my hammie. glenn taught me to put tissue papers in the cage for her to build a nest, and she did! she's been sleeping under it for the past days so i couldnt find her! haha.

i was shag when everyone left, but very happy to see them all again. hopefully, we'll get to visit another house very soon!

the success of this gathering is largely due to daddy, eka, and mommy! daddy was really hospitable. like for example, he drove to chinese garden to fetch them cause of the rain, and he bought lots of drinks, tibits and food. and eka cooked a great dinner and mommy was hospitable too :)

so, liverpool finally break the draw curse developed from the past 2 matches! we beat blackburn 3-1 during yesterday's match. but why ohh why, keane is not in play!!! seriously, he's a hell of a player, and like gerrard, he's a play maker. sometimes, i dont understand the manager. and this torres, so disappointing! groin injured again! i really miss seeing him play and scaring the shit out of the opponents. but if he keeps missing games, it would be difficult to find his form back again!

saw the liverpool crest on a minivan on my way to find jasmine for the vcd. all doors were designed with this crest, plus more liverppol stuff inside the van, like a scarf. must be a hardcore fan!

poor blackburn, still under pressure in relegation zone. this season, the promoted teams are quite a challenge!

and HAHA, just now Singapore vs Myanmar Suzuki Cup match was so funny! the stupid keeper go push the referee and kena red carded! dumb arse. its difficult to explain what had happened by seriously, its not the ref fault lar. the Myanmar players were distracted by the sun jiayi's injury and assumed that the ref would blow the whistle and halt the game. in the end, Singapore scored, and the stupid keeper buey song, go push the ref. really dumb thing to do. i mean, they are experienced players and they should learn to keep their temper in check. plus, they should be aware of the consequence it could bring, not only to them, but to the whole team. and in this case, since they are representing the country, the country itself.

reminds me of one match, when Singapore vs Thailand in the semis, where the same thing happened again. the Thailand team refused to carry on play. there's seriously no point in all this. in the end, the team and the manager would be fined, and it would only tarnish the reputation of the team and the country. i mean, ref decision is always final, so when its at your disadvantage, you have no choice but to fight on even fiercer and harder on the field.

but anyway, Singapore won 3-1 and that's the thing. hopefully, we can win the Cup again this year! Lionel Lewis is still drop dead gorgeous! :D

gross, cause the skin on my sunburnt arm is peeling.

would be having buffet/steamboat at suntec's yuki yaki with the soccerrettes! really looking forward yo! chais right, should treat it as an investment. haha.

but i'm really broke yeahh. buddy's bithday is also coming up! but i've already sent in a resume for a part time admin clerk for a clinic. wonder if i would be short-listed! cross my fingers! looking for retail sales and f&b services jobs are too difficult already! boo hoo.

anyway,

congratulations to szeying and weijian for completing the Standard Chartered Marathon!

she msged me at 1:39 pm today and told me it was a crazy race! haha. next year, it would be my turn to run it! :D

2008-12-03T00:00:00.000-08:00

my hammie, minnie, passed away yesterday. i cried badly this time because i witnessed her death. it was feeding time, so i was feeding both my hammies. normally, they would wake up eagerly and scramble towards their food tray. but yesterday night, minnie didnt wake up and she was lying at one side of her cage. so i shook her to wake her up, but she didnt respond. i checked her breathing, and yes, her body was still moving up and down slowly. i shook her harder, but she continued to lay at where she was. she didnt even move her head.

weizi was holding on the line, and i started to freak out into the phone. i shouted for my maid and sis, and they both opened the cage and looked at minnie. minnie was still breathing but i guess, she was already almost gone. then slowly, her breath stopped. i ran to the room and woke daddy up because daddy loves both hammies alot. when daddy and mommy came out, i started crying and my granny said i crazy. but i was really sad. my maid, eka and i kept shaking her to wake her up, because at that moment, we dont believe that she was gone. but she was.

now, her cage's empty and lying one side in the yard.

i've been keeping hammies since sec 3, but minnie's death affected me rather badly because i witnessed it. although she died of old age, it was still so sudden. then, i started thinking about death again. something which i often do. but no, i'm not suicidal. and a friend just told me a death of his friend, which was very sudden and unexpected. and i started thinking of people i know dying, my ah kong, my uncle and a uncle from my taiwan tour group.

i was too young to understand the raw pain of death then, when my ah kong passed away. but now, i could feel it. even though i wasnt close to my uncle and was just a passing acquaintance with the tour group uncle, both deaths were so shocking and sudden. its like, one moment, the person is alive and kicking, and the next, he's lying there inside the coffin. and he looks like his sleeping, almost alive. but the next thing you know, he's returned to dust, never smiling at you again. the death of the singapore lawyer to the damned terrorists is also haunting me. like she's contacting her family and husband on the cellphone, and they're hearing her voice. next thing they know, she got murdered.

and i think, what's it like if you know death is coming.

my hammies death were sad and painful, and i cant imagine the grief if my love ones died. i know death is inevitable, but such eternal separation is just too painful to bear. whenever i think about this at night, i would cry to sleep. i cant imagine living without my ah ma, mom, dad and sis, as well as all the precious friends in my life. i think, even if you believe in religion, death can never really be a relieve of suffering, or it can never be easy.

in fact, sometimes maybe, its even scarier. say for example, you're a christian, and you believe that all believers go to heaven and those non-believers dont. while heaven is a beautiful place, but hell's not. but not everybody you love are christians, so... you get what i mean. and say, you're of a religion which believes in recarnation. then, you can never unite or meet the one you love again, after death. but if i'm a free thinker, then death would be nothingness. then where do the soul go? is there an afterlife?

..........................................................................

well, those are just my thoughts. on a happier note,

SOCCER MATCH TODAY!

had friendly with our juniors. would like to thanks 4 of the queensway girls for coming down to join our rojak team. haha.

it was a good friendly, and i am really happy today. takes my mind of lots of things. for one, got to see almost all of the girls today, after my Beijing trip. miss them so much! and coach too!

speaking of coach, he bought ac milian jersey for chai and i from thailand, and he dont want to accept back the money! so nice of him! :D

and then, wearing the red tournament jersey and playing with the team on the field reminds me of the good, old days, when we were staring out as noobs. it reminded me of our tournament too, where we felt the utter pain of loss, and the taste of victory at the same time.

most of us were unfit already. can tell from the warm up haha. jasmine's mucus was flowing out, and she said its going to come out from her eyes too. haha. plus, the sun was scorching hot! and i'm already burnt from 3 consecutive days of suntanning! but personally, i love the sun. and i was really overjoyed that chris made it from work! so proud of her! :D

suffered from endless teasings.

but still, it was fun when the match kicked off! 45 45 15 and 2 sets of penalty shoot out! woots! its tiring but still, we're all dying to play so we keep making subs. tzer received her first leg cramp! painful like shit right! so anyway, jas scored 2 goals (almost hat trick though, but she off side), lixuan scored one and valerie scored 2! j1s scored one by penalty! penalty shoot out was nervous but fun haha! was relieved when i scored. chris was a monster lar, she can run everywhere. val dribbled past almost everyone. yiting saved so many penalities!

but j1s were aggressive. jingwen and szeting kept marking me, until make me so pek chek. sharron was so scary, but i'm glad bren made her fall! iezah made such huge improvements, saving so many goals! anyway, hope bren's legs are ohhk! i hope coach will organise more friendlies for j1s to gain more experience.

gave out the Bird Nest keychain souvenirs and made them guessed what it was. chai was the fastest in guessing it, while coach was the slowest! i gave him all the hints but he was still completely at sea. and when i told him it was the Bird Nest stadium, he told me he didnt see how the stadium looked like before -_-

so anyway, after match which ended damn late into the evening, we went for dinner at jp mac(it was almost 9 already), cause i want to rent dvds from jp. sitting down with the girls as we occupy one whole row of tables, brings back good memories after every soccer training. like how we use to dily daly after every trainings, and how we used to go for meals after every match and trainings. wow, time certainly flies! but i belive, this would definitely not be the last time we gather and meet, nor would it be the last time we play together.

throughout the whole time together yesterday, before and after the match, we kept discussing about the prom night and shatricia. those who looked at the photos or went to the prom said she was really really beautiful. i saw the pics, and yes, she looks jaw-dropping and absolutely stunning in the beautiful white gown. jas kept going about her non-stop haha. but still, N is my eye candy ohhk! even though if she's muscular. but she's got nice abs, and nice legs. she's got a pan-asian look, she's sporty and she's HOT. i remember how crazy i could get when she was still in jj. kind of a stalker and jalaine was too! haha. but now, dont think she blogs anymore damn. cant look at her drop dead gorgeous photos!

soccer makes me happy, and so do the soccerrettes.

if, before i've chosen the jc or poly path, and God showed me that i would fail my As if i were to go jc, i would definitely still choose the jj route. because, i would never trade my team and soccer experience for anything.

and i should really get down to finding a job soon! would do so with jingwen! :D damn, jj no vancancy for relief pe teacher.

and huiying! $10 ktv at chinatown soon! :D

AND! street soccer please!